#and got frustrated at not understanding what anybody ever meant by it

[braintapes]

evil drawing advice your brushstrokes should be COWARDLY and WHIMPERING and snivelliing pathetically when you draw them. and so you should make as many short, shaky, shivering lines as you possibly can

[reallywitchycat]

I hate Sir Phillip Crane

So with season 3 of Bridgerton show released on Netflix I do see lots of disclosure about Eloise and her potential endgame. I see people shipping her with Theo, I see people shipping her with Cressida and I see people insisting she will end up with Sir Phillip Crane, because he is just best and he was already in season 1 and season 2. So let me just say, I would HATE if Eloise ends up with Sir Phillip because I hate Sir Phillip with passion.

First, let's start with fact that almost ALL men in Bridgerton books are toxic, misogynist and sometimes straight up abusive. But Sir Phillip Crane is worst of them all. He truly have no redeeming qualities. There are my reasons:

1.) He is horrible husband to Marina.

Yes, I am aware he did not marry her for love, but because his father forced him. BUT that is NOT excuse for his behaviour towards her! Phillip is dismissive of Marina's mental illness. And yes, in Regency period there was very little awareness of how to PROPERLY treat mental illnesses. Still, it frustrates me that he made Marina's mental illness all about himself. HE is one who have to take responsibility for his own children. (How horrible) HE is one who have to live in celibacy because his wife felt too sick to have sex. (I would rather not talk about marital rape that happened here, because it makes me sick). Not one word about how bad that situation was for Marina. Almost as he had no empathy for her.

2.) He is horrible father.

I don't want to go too hard on him here. He did have very abusive childhood. And this is ONE instance where his childhood trauma would work as sort of excuse. BUT! In book he IS biological father of twins. (And don't let anybody told you otherwise. If book Phillip is not meant to be biological father, book would be very clear about that. JQ always tell you such things very clearly). So basically. He was aware that he had no idea how to be good father and yet, with his free will, he decide to have children. And THEN complain about them ALL the time.

3.) He is horrible husband to Eloise.

ONLY reason he wants to have wife is to have someone who will take care of his children while he is playing in his greenhouse. Basically he is looking for babysitter who he can bang. He DIDN'T TELL Eloise about that! He DIDN'T TELL her about fact he has children!!! And once they got married, that is exactly how it works! ALL childcare land on Eloise of course. And Phillip gets almost angry when Eloise wanted to have an serious conversation instead of sex. Like he tells her he did not have sex in 8 years and so she is supposed to fell sorry for him and shut up ?! Worst thing is HE don't change at the end of the book! He gets to play with his plants in greenhouse and she gets … what ? sex ? … Like I don't understand WHAT they have in common.

In conclusion. Book Eloise deserves better. And show Eloise would never ever put up with him! To make show Phillip appealing love interest they would have to completely change his story and personality. At that point they could very easily go with someone completely different.

[buggienuggie]

With Humans Extinct The New Evolved Species Are Paleontologists

The extinction of humanity, the bipedal primates that swore to conquer the cosmos, the Adapters, was a great lost for the universe. Their talents to bond with others outside of their species, and their unrelenting habits to seek friendship is what got most of the species of the Universe to grow fond, or the equivalent of such relationship, of the primitive species.

They had grown to rely on their governments and laws too much, and the rule of extracting humans from space travel had begun a mass panic for those unwilling to go back to Terra, the planet they named "Earf". Their governments called upon the help of other species outside of Earf, putting a bounty on any Earfling that seeked to continue their travels in space. And when the other species refused, and rather helped the space otters (a nicknamed earned from a human fighting in Kortnak, a water planet with unrelenting fierce creatures that killed anything they considered a parasite... The human walked away with a Kortnakian as dinner under its arm) hide deep into the stars.

The Earf's government leaders began attacking any creature they considered a foe. And that meant anybody that got in the way of the retrieval of their fellow humans. As time passed, the original plan was long forgotten and soon it was just war that the humans sought. Blood and death were what they were after. They were strong in the beginning, sure, but after months, and years prior of accumulating enemies, it had become apparent that their numbers dwindled. And before Portunians, the Peacemakers of the Universe, could reach Earf it had been too late.

Saddened, angry, and passive creatures left the Milky Way. A restriction notice in their systems meant it was out of anyone's reach of contact (whether physical or through communication). No one was allowed to visit the dying galaxy, humanity's home.

And no one did. It had been 7 billion years since the extinction, a new species crawled the ground of what was once called Earf. Doe-eyed creatures with mass intelligence, their features very similar to those of humans. Creatures that learned to communicate telepathically, evolving out of the need for the hyoid bone. Their personalities? Not so much.

They didn't laugh, cry, or speak, and though they did feel emotions they did not find it necessary to express it. They became the creatures thriving off of humanity's issues, the history of what once was became their rules for what NOT to do. Though they did not understand how such primitive minds got in contact with other creatures in space, or how they achieved space travel, they themselves, the new walkers of Terra, grew frustrated with their lack of progress in that aspect.

So much so that they built machines to create visual movements humans made out of the fossils they found in graves, or what was left of them.

They were surprised when their systems began making a loud rakakakakak sound. They froze in surprise, their pupils narrowing in on the machine. Nothing. It was not smoking, nor shaking. Nothing.

Rakakaka

Again! The grey-skinned fellow watched the hologram of the human throw its head back, hand on its chest, and its shoulders rapidly moving up and down...

The human was making this sound...? The human was making this sound...

This is like nothing they've ever witnessed. The new species had thought of the many possibilities of how humans communicated, especially with other creatures in space, but not once had they thought orally. Of course!

However, the sound it was making did not sound pleasant, a sort of replica of what their train system racking up in the morning with rocks underneath its wheels sounded like, and the doe-eyed creature began to wonder if it was the reason why humans no longer lived.

[thencitytales]

Non-stop Teasing - CYJ

🌷Pairing: Choi Yeonjun of TXT x fem!reader (3rd person used)

🌷 kinda enemies to lovers

🌷wc: 4.1k

🌷 Fluff? sort of angsty tho

🌷 warning: drinking, cussing, frat party, Yeonjun being kind of down bad

🌷There are a few other idols mentioned, some of them in a relationship with each other, I do not think these people are together nor do I ship them, I just felt like the story could have used these dort of relationships (ChaewonxWooyoung, KarinaxJeno)

🌷 Hey!! I am back because i felt like it. This fic is a fleeting idea i had a long time ago and was finally able to finish. In the beginning it was not meant for Yeonjun but it had mostly OC'S so if you see random names I'm sorry, I have yet to proofread it. Feel free to give me notes and feedback, as I appreciate it a lot!! 'Til next time <3

(not my GIF)

Yeonjun. Stupid, fucking Yeonjun.

Idiot, average-looking yet so stupidly attractive Yeonjun.

“If you really hate him you should stop staring at him, you know?” a blonde girl talked to her best friend, who shushed her in response.

“Shut up Chaewon, I’m not staring” Y/N retorted against her best friend. 

Except she was, and she knew it.

Another person in the library was also very aware of Y/N and what she was doing, because he could feel her eyes pierce through his head. 

And he loved it.

“Ask anybody here, they’ll say you’re staring,” Chaewon said in an amused tone, making Y/N’s eye twitch in frustration.

“Well, then it’s hate-staring, glaring if you will,” Y/N looked away from the boy and glared at her best friend, turning her head ever so slowly, as to recreate the scene in a horror movie.

“Just like I’m glaring at you right now.” Chaewon let out a laugh at her friend’s antics and shrugged it off.

“Sure thing, love. Keep telling yourself that.”Chaewon said. Y/N could only scoff before going back to look at her books.

Look was indeed the best word to describe what she was doing, the words on the page being read for the tenth time in as many minutes without understanding nor absorbing any of it. Biology sucked, and so did Y/N’s brain at that moment. So much so that after a couple of seconds she got distracted again.

“What is it with the stupid beanie anyway? Like what’s the deal with that? DO YOU THINK HE HAS A BALD SPOT?” Y/N whisper-screamed, making Chaewon almost spit out the water she was trying to drink after finally reaching the end of her chapter.

Suddenly the girls heard a louder voice coming from behind them.

“It’s actually for style-related purposes, no bald spot, though if you’re still in doubt you could always ask him. Also, Y/N, you were one hundred percent staring at Yeonjun, just FYI.” Wooyoung said whilst chuckling at the little jump the girls made upon hearing him. Y/N turned around, red in the face, a mixture of embarrassment for being caught and pure wrath, caused by Wooyoung’s presence.

“How long have you been here?” She said bitterly. The boy could sense she wanted to add something, the words dying in her throat a bit too fast. He assumed a “dickhead”, or “asshole” was missing, but he let it go, not teasing her any further. 

“The whole time, love,” he said mocking what Chaewon had said to her friend just a few minutes prior. Then turned away and returned to his spot at the same table with Yeonjun, Soobin and Changbin.

Y/N looked warily at her surroundings to make sure no one else was around to eavesdrop on them.

“How in actual hell are you able to like that guy?” Her shocked expression clearly visible on her features.

Chaewon shrugged.

“He just likes to tease you, he’s actually very nice” She answered, her cheeks turning slightly pink before continuing. 

“I mean it’s not like they’re the fuckboys group.” When Chaewon said that, Y/N was still looking at them and immediately turned around. 

“No, they’re worse, at least the fuckboys are self-aware of how awful they are” she sighed.

“Oh my God you’re so dramatic,” Chaewon said rolling her eyes before going back to typing at her computer. 

Y/N shut up and went back to try and drill a hole through Yeonjun’s head with her gaze, sadly, without any success.

As if on cue, the boy turned around, looked at her, smirked, and turned back to speak with Changbin, making her avert her gaze and awkwardly look around to find God knows what.

She couldn’t take it anymore, her heart pounding in her chest was beginning to feel like it was too much, she could literally hear it and the sensation made her shudder. She got up and headed to the bathroom searching for some quick fix to the sudden heat of her body.

As soon as she got there Y/N quickly splashed her face with some cold water to try and stop it from getting all red, failing miserably. She looked defeatedly at her reflection.

“This is a PSA for that tiny voice living at the back of my head, I am kindly asking you to shut up” She lightly hit her head with her hand in the process so that the point would go across. 

“You understand me??” The girl sighed and took a step back from the sink to exit the bathroom, but as soon as she turned around a familiar face was standing leaning on the door frame.

“Try hitting it harder next time, that should work better.” He chuckled lightly before taking a step towards her.

“This is the girls’ bathroom, Yeonjun” Y/N backed up and glared at him for what was probably the thousandth time that day.

“Sorry, I was headed to the guys’ bathroom but something here caught my attention” he smirked once again. 

Y/N was on the verge of breaking. That smirk. He had to know the effect it had on her. Or was it just a stupid habit of his? 

It didn’t really matter. Either way, she wanted to kiss him so badly right now. And subsequently, run away, completely change identities, go to Peru, and start a potato plantation or something, to hopefully never be found again. She would never EVER admit to wanting to kiss that boy.

Frustrated even more than before, she ran back to the table where Chaewon was waiting for her, shoving Yeonjun in the process, and making him audibly laugh, clearly enjoying how easily he could fluster her.

“I gotta go, or I’m going to be late for the party,” Chaewon said the moment she saw her best friend enter her view.

“Again” Y/N added to Chaewon’s statement, knowing how long the blonde usually takes to get ready. The other girl got up and quickly added:

“Remember, I’ll be at your dorm around 10 pm, we’ll see what to do from there. Remind Ryujin too when you get home, please.” Chaewon said while collecting all of her stuff and messily throwing it in her bag.

“Sure thing, I’ll finish this chapter and go home too in a half-hour or so. Don’t worry about Ryujin, knowing her, she’ll be all dressed up already. You know who you should be worried about, though.” Y/N answered, looking up from her books.

“I already texted Karina, I told her I’d be at hers around 9:30 so she’ll hopefully be ready when we actually get there.” The girl chuckled at her best friend’s trickery and waved her goodbye, mumbling a “perfect” in the meanwhile.

On her way out Chaewon was stopped in her tracks by a slightly taller figure.

“Hey there,” he sweetly addressed the girl.

“Hi Wooyoung, I’d love to stop and chat with you but I really need to go.”

“See you at the party, then” Chaewon looked at him surprised.

“You should really stop eavesdropping other people’s conversations. Besides, you don’t even know which party we were talking about, there’s like 5 every Friday night without counting the ones outside of campus” 

He gave her a playful smile and said “Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.” The girl laughed and answered “Good luck, darling” before going her way.

After that Wooyoung quickly got back to the guys’ table where all of his friends were sitting, trying to finish some sort of group project.

“Okay, talking about important things, what do you guys know about parties tonight?” Wooyoung said, sitting down.

“You mean here in the campus? or in general? Also like, frat houses or bars?” Soobin started throwing questions at him to try and narrow down the search.

“I don't know, man, Chaewon was talking to the Menace and they said they were going to a party tonight.” Wooyoung just answered him calmly.

As soon as he heard the words “Menace” and “party” together in a sentence Yeonjun’s interest was piqued. He looked at Wooyoung, completely ignoring the semi-blank document opened in front of him.

“Well I don’t think they’d go off campus, the Menace is too lazy for that, she’d want to be as close to the dorm as possible.” Soobin started the brainstorming session.

“That still leaves like at least five or six parties” Changbin pointed out, then turned to Wooyoung and asked:

“Is it just the two of them?” to which Wooyoung quickly added Ryujin and Karina to the mix.

As soon as Karina’s name came up Changbin and Soobin looked at each other and said: “Keystone Lodge.”

“Is there something I don’t know?” Wooyoung asked given how the boys answered the place of the party seemed obvious but he had no idea.

“Karina’s boyfriend, Jeno. He’s in the frat.” Soobin pointed out.

“Okay but aren’t parties at KL like, invitation-only or something like that?” Changbin quickly raised the question.

Yeonjun, who had just started fantasizing about what could’ve happened at the party and had no intentions of having his dreams ruined just like that, said: “don’t worry guys, be prepared, I’ll text you later.” and quickly got up and gathered his things before exiting the library.

“Does he have to do it every time?” Soobin asked.

“He got it from Mark, says it gives him the surprise effect later on and the mysterious effect right away.” Changbin answered rolling his eyes, to which the other two guys only answered almost in awe with an “Ooh.” probably thinking it was the best idea a man could have.

“Okay, how did you get us in Yeonjun?” Wooyoung asked, almost alarmed at how quickly and seemingly easily their friend acquired the invitations.

“I know Haechan, and he owed me. He still does.” the older boy simply stated, raising Wooyoung's alarm instead of calming him down.

“Now let’s get this party started” Yeonjun exclaimed walking up the stairs to Keystone’s Lodge with a smirk on his face.

“You’re going to try and make her life hell, aren’t you?” Changbin said clearly amused at how his friend was planning on being even more annoying to Y/N than he usually was.

“Just wait and see Changbin, just wait and see.” the smirk on Yeonjun’s face growing with every step to the door he knocked on, where they found a guy standing alone, waiting for proof of invitations.

Inside the Frat house, the music was blasting. The air felt damp and everything smelled like cheap alcohol, adding to the mix the group of smoking boys at the far end of the room anyone could imagine that the atmosphere was not very romantic. Which is exactly what they expected.

Changbin went straight for the bar, getting everybody something to drink as the other guys scanned the room for their targets. 

Wooyoung quickly saw Chaewon sitting on the couch with her friends. They were talking to a few frat guys but they seemed nonthreatening enough to his ego. The Menace was sitting dangerously close to one of them, almost in his lap. Wooyoung could not recognize the guy though, no matter how much he squinted.

He nudged his friends and with a nod pointed the scene out, hoping they would get curious and approach them, so he could flirt with Chaewon once again. 

As soon as he realized what was going on, Soobin turned to look at Yeonjun’s reaction, gesturing to Changbin to hurry over, so he could witness it too because despite what those two liked to admit, they had this tension between them that was almost romantic. They were definitely, on some level, attracted to each other but they would never admit it. That’s why Changbin Soobin and Wooyoung were now staring at Yeonjun, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever they had theorized.

Yeonjun’s brows furrowed. The night just started and everything had to be so simple already, not even a bit of a challenge. He sighed, took a drink from Changbin’s hands, and turned to Wooyoung. 

“Let’s go say hi to your princess, shall we?” Yeonjun told his friend, who was very happy about the poor lighting, meaning the other boys were not made aware of his rosy cheeks prompted by Yeonjun's comment.

As they approached, Chaewon saw them and a big smile tugged on her lips. She raised a hand to say hi and the boys did the same.

“Well Well Well, I’m surprised to see little Sherlock actually did find us.” She chuckled looking at Wooyoung.

“I told you I could do it. I’m very resourceful” he winked and the girl lightly laughed. 

Everybody then fell back into conversation, except Y/N and her mystery guy, who were so distracted by each other that they didn’t even say hi to the newcomers. 

Yeonjun cleared his voice. 

“I know you don’t like us Y/N but not saying hi is simply rude, even for you.” He smirked, knowing very well what it did to her.

The girl turned around, her surroundings didn’t make it easy to hear but she was sure she heard a voice talking to her. 

From her sitting position she looked at the new figures that had joined the conversation. And then she saw his face. She simply rolled her eyes.

“Who even invited you here? Seriously, please tell me so I can avoid the lunatic all night long, people just become crazier and crazier by the day”

“Actually,” Yeonjun chuckled.

The guy whom Y/N was talking to gently removed his hands from her hips, feeling a bit embarrassed. 

“I think that might have been me,” He said. 

Y/N looked at Haechan with a void expression.

“You’re his friend?” She asked, not believing it for a moment.

Haechan was slightly taken aback by the question, thinking the answer to be obvious, so he simply answered:

“Yeah?” at which Y/N glared at both the boys.

“That’s a shame, I really liked you.” And with that, she got up and went to the bar to pour herself yet another drink. The alcohol was probably what made her act so suddenly with that silly explanation but even sober her had no intention of being affiliated in any way with Yeonjun.

Seeing how Y/N was behaving, the boy thought that his mission was going to be such a delight with how simple she was making it.

Yeonjun followed her, leaving behind their friends absorbed in whatever conversation, and a very confused Haechan sitting on the couch.

As Y/N approached the bar, she bumped into a few people obstructing passages left and right and leaving her even more annoyed than she already was.

She took one of the red cups and poured herself some beer. 

Not the ideal drink but it was the first thing her hands were able to grasp. 

As she was about to take a sip, a hand snatched her drink.

“Thanks, I was very thirsty,” Yeonjun told her, earning a glare once again that day.

“How do you manage to be so annoying Yeonjun?” Y/N said while pouring another cup, this time she grabbed some gin, sensing she would need something stronger than a beer.

“I give it my best, just for you” he grinned.

Y/N couldn’t help but groan as she looked for the soda to mix her drink.

“What did I ever do to you? Have I offended you in any way? Are you holding a grudge from your past life?? Why do you like to annoy me so much??” She sighed in defeat.

“Woah,” Yeonjun said taken aback by the sudden seriousness of the question.

“Well, for starters I could ask you the same thing…” He answered calmly.

As she started to protest he shushed her.

“Buut, I am not going to lie, I do find you very cute when you’re frustrated” He chuckled.

“Are you hitting on me?” She asked, mouth agape.

“Do you want me to be hitting on you?” There it was again. The stupidest grin on the face of the earth. If there was a way to wipe it off instantly, Y/N would’ve gladly taken that chance. Thinking about it, there was a way, and to be honest she had reluctantly considered that way many times before, but always ended up avoiding it.

A kiss was not the solution, everything it could’ve done was only create more problems.

She was snapped back to reality by Yeonjun waving his hands in front of her eyes. She had been staring at the grin for god knows how long. A faint red was starting to tint her cheeks.

“You want to kiss me so badly,” Yeonjun told her, the grin never leaving his face.

She tried to play it as cool as possible, hoping the poor lighting of the room helped her conceive the blushing situation.

“Projecting much?” She smiled turning on her heels, determined to get out of the house for some fresh air.

As she walked away Yeonjun screamed over the music.

“I never said I wouldn’t like it” Y/N briefly stopped in her tracks, surprised by the sudden confession. Thinking it was just another way of getting under her skin she slowly reached the door and opened it, stepping out onto the backyard.

“You just love messing with her, don’t you?” Chaewon said as she approached Yeonjun, Wooyoung by her side, holding her waist.

“I have a tendency not to lie, actually. Everything I said is true. She’s just… compelling” he tried to find the best word to describe her.

“Compelling? You mean messing with her like that is compelling?” Chaewon said, a bit offended that Yeonjun enjoyed toying with her friend’s emotions like that.

“Tell me Chaewon, when have I ever done anything truly bad to her? All I do is tease, in her opinion, when in reality I was always simply…” Yeonjun said, meanwhile Chaewon tried to start a list of all the times he’s gotten you frustrated and quickly realized most times it was just his very annoying, twisted way of ... 

“Flirting,” Chaewon said, shocked. She looked at him straight in the eyes, her expression painted with shock.

“Oh my God, you just flirt with her” Chaewon continued. She suddenly realized that every time Yeonjun ever talked to Y/N he was flirting, and that enraged her friend for some reason. He never actually DID anything bad to her. He never insulted her, let alone take action to actively ruin her day. The only times he did something of the sort she was always with a guy, like 10 minutes ago with Haechan. Yeonjun was always just… flirting with Y/N.

“I am very confused.” Wooyoung said looking at his two friends.

“You never admitted it to us and it takes you like three seconds to tell it to her best friend? I kinda hate you and I am not sure I would like to be friends with you anymore.” Wooyoung continued while watching Yeonjun's every move and acting offended.

“It’s not like you guys ever really asked, I thought it was obvious if I have to be honest. She’s pretty, she’s smart, she can be a pain in the ass but she’s one of the nicest and kindest people I ever met. Not with me, which I can not really comprehend, but if teasing her incessantly is the only way I can get her to interact with me I don’t think I will ever stop.” Yeonjun said earnestly to his friend. A small smile appeared on his features, almost sheepishly.

A voice behind him startled him right after.

“What did he just say??” it was Changbin, who basically screamed in his ear after he heard just half of the confession.

“I think he likes the Menace!!” Soobin screamed at Changbin (and in Yeonjun’s other ear) in hopes of being understood over the loud music.

Meanwhile, Y/N was outside, freezing because she forgot to bring a jacket. 

Why did he have to always be so annoying, why did he always have something to say that would just make her heart beat at a worrying speed? Why did she have to like him so fucking much?

As her mind birthed the last few words she stopped pacing back and forth on the grass.

Of course, she liked him. It seemed as if every stupid decision she could make she would take and this was not even a conscious one. 

It would explain why her fight or flight response would kick in every time he would even just look in her direction, and her choice was fight. 

Thinking about kissing him all those times was not just a stupid silly thought. 

Y/N was hopeless.

"So?" The question was raised suddenly by a voice she recognised immediately.

He was standing right there, in front of her, handing her her jacket.

She happily took it, silently thanking him with a smile before muttering.

"So what?" her eyes looking at him defeated. She liked him and he was just playing. He was just teasing, and look where all that teasing led her. A terrible position she never wanted to be in.

"Am I getting that kiss you so badly want to give me?" Here he goes again. Non-stop teasing.

This time Y/N did not find it in her to fight, not him nor the feelings she finally realized she had.

"You should be more careful with your words Yeonjun, one might think you actually want it, crave it even" she said calmly before chuckling lightly. She was now sitting down on the bench and her gaze was everywhere but the boy's figure.

"As I said when you were storming off, I do think I'd enjoy it" he slowly sat down beside her, surprised by her tone. This felt more like an actual conversation now. It didn't seem like she had any intention of fleeing this time around. Just them two, talking like normal people. It was new and he liked it. He liked it more than words could explain.

"Stop teasing me please, I honestly don't think I can take it anymore. I won't be bothering you again if you promise me you will leave me alone without uttering any other word that you don't mean" If someone were to pass by and listen very closely, the sound of Yeonjun's heart could be heard as it was cracking and falling apart like glass under extreme heat.

She didn't want to see him anymore, but what was worse is that she didn't think his words were honest. She thought he didn't mean it, ever.

He meant it from the first smile he flashed her, from the first hello he said. The first time he saw her he was struck by lightning and did not feel like himself anymore. All he could do was think about her, all he wanted to do was to speak with her. He did not care if it meant he had to endure rolling eyes and frustrated groans, at the very least he was interacting with you.

"So?" this time she asked the question. Her eyes showed how hurt she was and he could barely look at them.

As he turned to face her, Y/N noticed tears welling up in his eyes. She didn't understand.

"You really think I don't mean it? Y/N you consume my thoughts in the best and worst way ever. I think about you all the time. All I ever want to do is speak with you and I don't care if it means you'll hate me, I won't stop doing it because I am selfish like that. I don't want to feel miserable, and the only way I have to do that is if I speak to you. You can tell me you despise me a thousand times but I won't care as long as you're in front of me, addressing me, acknowledging my presence." As Yeonjun spoke Y/N could not believe his words. 

If it was just minutes ago she would've joked about how "you're so obsessed with me, jeez" but at that moment the expression on Yeonjun's face was making her want to cry. It seemed like he meant it.

He did mean it.

"You like me?" she asked, furrowing her brows in confusion.

"I think like is a bit of an understatement at this point..." he chuckled looking into the distance, the palms of his hands rubbing against each other awkwardly.

Y/N moved closer to him. He did not register how close she got until she turned his head towards her with her hand.

They stared at each other, they are not sure for how long. It could have been mere seconds or hours on end. Then she moved closer and finally kissed him. 

She tilted her head as he deepened the kiss. 

Everything felt good. They were finally happy.

[angelique-of-the-volturi-guard]

You guys I had an idea and yes I’m making the fic for it (Which will probably be posted when I finish it because I’m in two long fics deep right now) but here goes:

Loid losing his memory of being a spy and believing that he’s only Loid Forger. He wakes up in the hospital with a head injury and a bullet to his thigh after a stray bullet from a shooting in the workplace caused a light to fall on his head. He has no memory of being a spy, and thinks he’s just a regular husband and father. Anya is the only one who notices something is up, and she tries to devise a plan to get Papa the help he needs. Her time comes when Franky comes to visit and she asks him to play with her in her room, shutting the door before she asks him for his help with something really important, and makes him promise not to tell Mama and Papa. Franky can tell she’s being serious and reluctantly agrees. She asks him if he knows the “red haired boss lady” that helped them get Bond, and when he says yes, she says she has to meet and talk with her, but won’t tell him why, only that she thinks the lady can help her with something really important. She practically begs him to take her and tell Mama and Papa they were going someplace else, and he eventually agrees as long as she tells him what’s wrong later.

Franky gets her a meeting with Sylvia Sherwood who is initially super pissed at Franky for bringing her but when Anya tells her that her Papa’s in trouble and she’s the only one who can help, that gets her attention, and she and Anya sit down. Anya tells her about the hospital shooting (that she was aware of), but tells her that her Papa isn’t himself anymore. Sylvia asks what she means, and Anya makes her promise to wait until she’s all done talking before she says anything. Sylvia agrees, curious. Anya makes the difficult decision to reveal her powers to Sylvia, even proving it to her by reading her thoughts, and tells her that she knows Papa’s a spy and has been helping him with his mission to get close to Donovan Desmond without him knowing. Sylvia is stunned, for once.

She asks how long Anya knew about her father being a spy and she says ever since she got home from the orphanage, and that she never told anybody because she knew what it was like to have secret powers you can’t share. She then tells her that Her papa doesn’t remember being a spy and she knows that’s dangerous for him, and asks for her help to keep him safe, offering to help keep the mission going on her own and using her powers to help Franky and pass along anything useful for WISE. Sylvia is impressed by her initiative but tells her that this is a dangerous mission and she needs to understand what she’s getting herself into. Anya then proceeds to tell her about times she’s helped Loid without him knowing, and tells her that she knows it’s dangerous, but she wants to help make her Papa’s dream come true of making a world where kids don’t cry. And Sylvia agrees to her plan for now but asks why she told her as opposed to anyone else. She says it’s because she knew Papa trusted her, so that meant it was safe for her to. Anya asks one other thing, and it’s that if she helps them, will they take her on as a spy and make Papa her handler like she’s his so they can be together forever and she promises to see what she can do, and realizes that her powers would be an excellent asset.

Anya continues trying to earn Stella and to get Damian to ask her over. Sylvia informs Franky of the developments and he comes over every day to see how Loid is doing and Anya sneaks him information. Loid is frustrated over his lack of autonomy, because it means Yor has to pick up the slack, but her caring for him really starts making him fall in love with her, and she him. They start to become more couple like, and Sylvia is very worried about the developments, but can’t interfere until Loid’s memory is back. When his thigh is healed, he takes Yor on a date and they dance in the park. Franky is out with Anya and they see them together, kissing. Anya runs to them, and Loid dances with her too, with her standing on his shoes, before he dances with the three of them together (He calls them his girls and that little detail WRECKED me), before there’s an explosion near the park, and it trigger’s Twilight’s memory of meeting Yor, and it all comes flooding back. He tells Yor to get Anya out of there and says he’s going to see if there are any survivors he can take to the hospital. Yor takes Anya home, and she is relieved that her Papa is finally back. She tells Franky the next day to give Sylvia something and hands him a piece of paper. He does, and she opens it to a drawing from Anya of her family with a sloppily written thank you underneath. Sylvia frames it, and Anya is put under WISE’s protection while continuing to help Franky, and Loid and Yor really do become a couple.

I just have a lot of feelings about this okay? 😭

[woodland-sys]

I'm still new to discovering I have a system (just got over that denial bridge a few weeks ago, and have been struggling mentally since (and before) then), and the system discourse online has been very... distressing? I want to lean into safe communities meant for learning about or exploring (my own) CDD, and find some sort of comraderie.

I don't understand what's happening really - I don't exactly understand endogenic systems, but I also don't understand why people would be anti-endogenic. It just seems... hateful. And purposeless.

I've seen tons of anti-endo posts (before I learned what endo meant) that made me terrified to lean too heavily into traumagen spaces (if they could say this about awful stuff about one group of people, what could they say about me? *it is very much a learned response from trauma, but it is what it is I guess*

I guess the point is to ask if you were ever anti-endo, and what has it been like since you started making pro-endo posts? I know it's silly, but I'm trying to figure all of this out and I'm terrified of receiving hate for refusing to hate someone because of how they identify

Thanks (and sorry for the book lol)

- Host

First I want to say it's not silly at all!! Being a newly discovered system is overwhelming and it's normal to want to have a community of those who understand you. It's also normal to want to avoid being harassed and fakeclaimed. I'm happy you reached out! This reply is going to be kinda long (sorry I tried to keep it short) but I did my best to address all your questions. I hope this helps! And I wish you the best on your new journey of self discovery!!

Second I would strongly recommend that you stay away from syscourse if you can. It's really draining and overwhelming even for us and we have a pretty good handle on our system. As a newly discovered system it's going to be even worse.

Unfortunately I don't have any specific recommendations for cdd focused spaces which accept endos (if anybody knows one put it in the replies!) but I will say that pro endo servers, even if they aren't focused on cdds can still be amazing for finding comradery. There will be other cdd systems there and you might find some endos who you relate to as well. Also if you want my dms are open! I'm just one person (well, not exactly) but I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have and suggest ways to help you figure out your system more!

As for why people are anti endo I think it mainly comes down to two things. First is that they think endos are saying they experience the same thing as cdd systems except without the trauma. Endos do not generally claim this*. Second is that people who've spent significant amounts of their lives under attack sometimes they start to see threats where there aren't any.

These systems have debilitating mental illnesses that are criminally misunderstood and romanticized. For them being a system is intrinsically linked with being deeply traumatized, they are not separate. So when they see a community of people claim to have systems but not trauma, they get upset. They feel like that's not possible, because it isn't possible to be a system like *theirs* without trauma. They get frustrated because they think people just want the "quirky" parts of their disorder without the painful ones. That's why they always say endos are faking did, because they can't imagine a system that doesn't have a cdd. They think endos are just people who want to feel special so they claim to have system. Once endos started becoming a part of the community, anti endos felt invaded because now there's a bunch of systems who don't have cdds in the space they thought was for them (keep in mind cdd focused spaces still exist, its just that the plural community as a whole isn't 100% focused on us anymore).

Once they feel invaded, they feel like they need to defend their community and they do that by harassing and fakeclaiming endos. Then they act like psychology is on their side (it isn't) and after that it's just increasing amounts of digging their heels in.

I think it mostly comes down to the misconception that endos claim to have did without the disorder part, and then in trying to defend themselves they turn off critical thinking and just do whatever they can to get rid of the perceived threat.

*There is a world of difference between the experiences of most endos and most cdd systems but it's not black and white. At this point the term "endo" just means anybody who is not completely traumagenic which includes mixed origin systems. Also, some endogenic systems develop cdds after being exposed to trauma, the only difference is that they were plural beforehand so they're still endogenic. There's others too. The main point is that the plural experience is incredibly personal and doesn't fit well into boxes, categorization is useful and it's important that people understand that in general there are real and big differences between endogenic plurality and cdds but there's no hard lines here.

[kiwi-tmntfan]

Hi have some RPWaSoBT leader-y and like duos stuff that I wrote once but never shared

Don & Raph: In this situation, Don would be in charge. Raph would not listen to him though just to purposely annoy him, not thinking about how that could easily cause them to fail whatever they're doing. So yeah Don would easily get frustrated with Raph, and it would probably end with Don just wanting to tell Nardo they messed up, so that he wouldn't have to deal with Raph any longer. ~~~~~ Nardo & Mikey: Mikey would listen to Nardo, but he wouldn't want to ask him to clarify something if he didn't get what he meant. Because when they go on missions and whatnot, Nardo's always like "there's no way we can fail" or "why didn't this work it had to work" and stuff, and so yeah Mikey's always kind of scared that he'll get yelled at if he asks Nardo something while they're on a mission, because he thinks Nardo'll act like he's questioning him or something. ~~~~~ Basically this is the worst way to split the teams for stuff like this, and unfortunately they (mostly Nardo, since he's pretty much the only one who deals with splitting them up) learned that the hard way.

Mikey & Don: Don would be in charge in this situation too (Mikey is the most responsible of the four, but he is no leader). Don would give clearer instructions than Nardo, but he would somewhat underestimate everything that Mikey is capable of, leaving a lot of the work to himself. He eventually realizes though what kind of stuff Mikey would do, and they become the most chaotic evil duo yeah ~~~~~ Nardo & Raph: Raph would relunctantly listen to what Nardo tells him to do, and Nardo finds him to be a pretty good amount of help. He understands that most of the time Raph would rather go and do his own thing, so sometimes he would send him off on his own to do something himself, though Nardo doesn't always feel like he can trust Raph to succeed with that.

Mikey & Raph: This is the only time Mikey feels like he could lead, and it definitely helps that he's the one Raph actually listens to the most. He's pretty good at figuring out what they need to do, the only problem is he's not very good at explaining what they need to do. Raph would do what he's told though, if he ever gets any proper instruction. ~~~~~ Nardo & Don: Don doesn't like listening to Nardo much, but he knows that it would be worse if Nardo were trying to follow Don's instruction (not because Don is bad at explaining, because he isn't, but because Nardo just wouldn't be able to process and follow through with what Don is telling him to do), so he lets Nardo's role as leader be. He will speak up though if he believes there will be a flaw in Nardo's plan, and often has one or two of his own ideas that he goes with, whether or not he had Nardo's permission to go ahead with that.

Without Nardo: (if he got injured, or just wasn't with the other three for whatever reason) Don would be the temporary leader. This is because Mikey would be too pressured feeling like he has to lead exactly how Nardo leads them, and Raph has never led anybody before and he honestly knows he could never come up with plans the way the rest of them do. They would all know it feels way off though. Don's brain works differently than Nardo's, especially when it comes to this type of stuff. But of the three, they agree he would be the best to lead, and he does get the job done.

[becomingpart2]

okay @thekimspoblog I wasn't gonna respond to this because we're not really going to get anywhere, we have different views about the characters and shows, but I figure I want to say a few more things before being done with this convo for good. I'm gonna do it here because I don't want to keep clogging OP's notifications with a discussion they didn't ask for.

I mean the fact that Vacuum Repair Guy wasn't involved in Kim's disappearance was a bit disappointing; that's at least partially what I'm getting at. That the two of them got embroiled in something so dangerous and yet when she up and left her witness-protection act was so shoddy. We seem to at least be in agreement that the ending was kind of rushed and weird, and that's leading to a lot of confusion about what the show was even trying to say.

Yes, I agree that the ending was not all that good. I'm not sure if rushed is the word I'd pick, maybe for kim's development? But that's not necessarily about the ending, more like the last two seasons. But I don't have a lot of doubt about what the show wanted to say.

I get the frustration about the vacuum cleaner guy not being involved in her disappearance but again I think that could be chalked up to doylist reasons -- I think the writers simply didn't want to use that plotline again. It'd be too repetitive and feel lazy. I mentioned him because, imo, if Jimmy wanted to save from Gus at any point after she left, he had that option but he never even tries.

I understand that her just going away and living peacefully in Florida might seem like a loose end but also, again, I don't believe that she posed such a threat to Gus. He had a lot more power over her than she had over him and he knew she couldn't count on the police or the law without airing out her own involvement. It would be her alone against his men and his empire. Plus she didn't work for him, they weren't close.

Also, it's not exactly like she could just show up at his door at any moment and try to kill him again, he saw how terrified and traumatized she was the first time around and she didn't even have to kill anybody. Kim's not Walt, she's more like a Jesse or even s1 walt -- they could kill out of desperation but not as a calculated move. She was not there yet. Maybe she could become more vicious with killing eventually, maybe that would be another miscalculation on Gus' part, but at that point when he knew her, she wasn't that person. The only person she'd do it for is Jimmy and she left him to supposedly fend for himself so.

Anyway, I acknowledge that seems like a loose end, I even agree to some extent that should've been better explained in the text, especially when you compare it to how Gus treated everyone else that knew about him.

I guess I'd need an example of one other time Jimmy's hurt feelings took precedent over letting Kim do whatever she wanted. Because I'd need both hands to count the times she did something which wounded his pride, and even if he complained he quickly chose to stuff it down and smile. That's not healthy either, but it shows how much of an exception for her he makes with his pettiness.

I didn't mean that he took his feelings out on her, or wanted "revenge" over her hurting his feelings. I meant that he could be so caught up on his own feelings and personal dramas that he overlooked her interests and how his shenanigans and personal vendettas against Howard, Chuck, HHM or whoever else, could negatively impact her or her career. Or just interfere with her plans in general, like in S5 when he goes against what she wants and sabotages her deal with her clients.

I get what you're saying, that Jimmy also avoids facing his problems. And you need to understand that even if I'm trying to paint Jimmy as a white knight, that's not a good thing. I just think that if we're talking about things Saul tells himself to be able to sleep at night, "Everyone already thinks the worst of me so why not prove them right" is only half the equation and "Everyone else hates me but they're all hypocrites and they're wrong about me because actually I'm a hopeless romantic and I'm doing the mature thing by handling the dirty work" is the other half. That's what was comfortable

Okay I get it, that's fair. But I think it's worth mentioning that what he tells himself is different from the truth. Just because he thinks (or lies to himself) he's doing the noble self-sacrificing thing, it doesn't mean that's the whole reason for why he does what he does. Additionally, I don't think "everyone thinks I'm the worst so I'm gonna prove them right" is true either, not entirely; it isn't just a self-destructive act for him, he actually enjoys what he does, "winning" over people and making a fool out of them, not only proving they were right about thinking the worst of him but also proving them wrong for underestimating his potential and how good he can be at what he does. That's also a very significant part of his character.

He likes it; him and Kim like making a fool out of people and winning, not just for a "good cause", not just against those who "deserve it". They like it for petty reasons too, they like it for shit and giggles and feeling good about themselves. That's their tragedy and a big part of their arc.

But I reiterate: "dealing with his problems" in this context would have meant unburdening himself of this terrible secret of what happened to his colleague and rejoining the "right" side of the legal field by cooperating with Eriksen. And even in a parallel universe where he wanted to do that, he couldn't have. So this secret had to just sort of weigh on his mind and continue to warp his perception of morality.

I disagree. I think what happened with Howard is just the tip of the iceberg. Jimmy's problems go way deeper than that. To reinterate, he could deal with his problems without having to confess to what happened with Howard, because his problems were never really about that. Howard was just a consequence.

A lot of this comes down to the fact that ironically we still never SAW an average day in the law offices of Saul Goodman. In BCS we get to see this devastating chain of events that lead up to him launching his practice, and in BrBa, we saw him interact with ONE client who was such a pain in the ass to work for that it eventually torpedoed his career. But we still aren't given key details like... what percentage of his clients were cartel and who were just regular poor people, whether Jimmy breaking the law to serve the interests of his clients was a regular thing, how often Mike offered him "jobs" and what kind, whether Jimmy ever rejected those job offers, or what his relationship to Gus was leading up to him recommending him to Walter.

I get what you're saying but I also want to ask, why? Why do we need to see all that? Why do we need to see saul's day to day? Why do we need to know his other clients and what were his true connections to Gus or the cartel? I don't see how knowing the answers to those questions would change the story in a significant way. The only thing it would change is the extent to which one might be willing to "absolve" saul or not. And that's what I take issue with.

Jimmysaul doesn't need absolving, we don't need to see how many old ladies he helped crossing the street to get a better understanding of his character. Everything's already there in both shows, "the good, the bad and the ugly". That would not change anything. Jimmy was Saul and Saul was Jimmy. Saul was always there in him and vice versa (and differently from walt and his heisenberg, we actually see Jimmy being Saul prior to Kim leaving: chuck dying is the catalyst but he was Saul even before that as well. So it's not really about "transformation" like Walt's story supposedly was). You seem to want an "acceptable" reason to reconcile the Jimmy you like with the Jimmy you don't like in your mind, but there isn't a clean-cut one.

To further use brba as an example, we also don't know many things about those characters and their lives prior to the pilot. We don't know who Walt was prior to his diagnosis, we don't even know exactly what happened between him and Elliot, Gretchen and grey matter, and that's a pretty important part of the story that's mostly left for the viewers to fill-in the blanks however they like it. The Walt we see in the few flashbacks we get is very different from the Walt from the pilot. How did he get to that point? How good of a husband and father he was prior to his diagnosis? Judging by how skyler and walt jr react in the first season, I'd say he was an okay-to-good one.

We also don't know much about Jesse and his parents' relationship prior to the point we see, when they've already given up on him. We don't know much about Skyler and Marie's background and home life, why their relationship was strained and sometimes difficult, why Skyler has an unhealthy need to keep up the appearance of a happy family to her kids even to the detriment of herself or their own safety.

And we don't need to see all that, all those details, because we can piece it together with what we were given. That's the style of these writers and I actually appreciate it more often than not, because it's not didactic and it doesn't give fans an easy excuse to woobify the characters (which is why I was mad over the flashbacks in BCS that do that) Because at the end of the day, it would not change a thing. It would not change what happened and what they did.

Anyways I went off on a tangent but yeah I think the narrative they were able to tell with BCS and BrBa were enough to give us a glimpse of who jimmysaulgene is and just like you said I assumed you were trying to paint him as morally good, you seem to assume that I'm trying to paint him as morally bad but that's not the case either. I'm just at peace with the parts that make him "unlikeable" to some viewers. (Because let's face it, even if we acknowledge that doing 'immoral' things out of love is selfish and Wrong, we're still conditioned and socialized to think of it as a "less of" evil, one that's not only understandable but even forgivable. It's the other less "pretty and romantic" selfish reasons were more reluctant to accept).

Because ultimately that's what the shows were about. The circumstances that drove those characters to do what they did and become what they became are important (and I think you're not entirely wrong in questioning how well the writers were able fit them in the story) butt at the end of the day, both shows were always character studies, so no matter how trapped the characters might've felt in their situations, the point is that they ended where they did mostly by their own hands, because they did what they wanted, because they followed their "worst impulses".

It was about them and their own flaws. I could come up with a bunch of reasons for why walt did a lot of the things he did; I understand why he didn't take elliott's money and I think it makes sense, I don't hate him for it, I can even sympathize with where he's coming from. But just because I can understand and sympathize doesn't mean that I think he couldn't or shouldn't have done differently. Circumstances are important but ultimately the characters are trapped in a prison of their own making. Mike chose to continue as a corrupt cop even when he wasn't a cop anymore, he just had a different boss. Nacho and Jesse are probably the closest we had of characters that were trapped by other people but even then, they had their chances to get out. Jesse even more so than Nacho.

I'm not trying to say jimmy had "complete free will". I acknowledge that the line separating what is free will and what isn't might seem blurry in this show and I think that's done intentionally. I understand jimmy might have felt like there was no going back for him, like Mike did (although I think the fact Kim was able to leave makes a pretty strong case against that, highlighting how him continuing down that road was his choice more so than anything else). I even acknowledge that getting out wasn't an easy feat but the point is that: 1) he had that option; and 2) he didn't even try.

I see BCS as a show about people rather than fate, so I think not accounting for their choices or trying to soften the role they played in their own tragedy works against the goal of analyzing them as people. Jimmy ultimately did what he wanted; maybe he wasn't happy, maybe he wanted to be with Kim more, but attributing his Saul trajectory solely to Kim and him not being with her is not accurate reading of the character and the show, imo. He was more than that and he had more reasons to be the way he was than her. His ideal world was to have his cake and eat it too, having her by his side. She was the one that didn't want it. Being with Kim wouldn't solve Jimmy's problems and it didn't, we saw that.

So Jimmy might have believed what he wanted about himself, it was comfortable for him to believe he had no choice (because then he wouldn't have to take responsibility over his choices, something he always avoided), it was comfortable for him to believe that he was doing it all for Kim (even if we don't have any evidence that's what he thought). It was more comfortable for him to be Saul Goodman than being Jimmy McGill because Jimmy McGill came with a lot of baggage.

That's how I view it anyway. That's my interpretation of the show and I think it was supported by the text in the end. But you're free to have a different view of it.

[chiefhalliday]

Rowan hated clichés, but this one had never rung so true.

He returned home late from work one night, not long after taking on his new job, to find an expensive envelope slotted in his mailbox with just his name beautifully printed on the front in red pen. He recognised the handwriting instantly and a concoction of emotions started to brew within him. Anger, resentment, regret, upset, yearning… love.

Part of him wanted to rip open the envelope and the other part wanted to throw in in the fire, but after pouring himself a glass of whisky and sitting down at the dining table, Rowan fished his glasses out of his pocket and tore open the envelope’s seal.

The one that got away might have been younger than him by a decade, but she made Rowan feel like there was still some life in him and like love truly was possible despite the hopelessness in the world. Her charm and gentleness was utterly enchanting, her bright smile captivating, and her creativity knowing no bounds. She was such a flirt at first, too; always complimenting his pristine uniform, his assertiveness, and his dazzling green eyes. Rowan knew that she had really fallen for him in the exact same way he’d fallen for her- slowly and then all at once- even if she’d been quick to deny it at the time. And her letter was simply confirmation that he had been right all along.

The letter itself read:

I heard you got the promotion of a lifetime- congratulations! I can’t think of a more deserving person to take on the role of the police chief of New York City. I’m sure your family must be very proud and I have no doubt your father is. I’m very proud of you, too.

I didn’t just write you to say that, though. It probably doesn’t mean much anymore, but I’m sorry. Deeply and truly. I didn’t think too much of my my actions when I left you, but it’s been something that’s weighed on my mind for some time now. I understand if you can’t forgive me and I certainly don’t expect you to, but the only way to make this right was to send you this letter with what I hope you don’t think is a feeble attempt at an excuse or explanation.

I was never very honest with you, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. The most honest thing I ever said was that I love you. I had things with you that I didn’t have with my ex-husband, like the fact you always had time for me no matter how busy you were, you listened to me even when I was distressed over the silliest things, and you alway supported my work even when my frustrations made me snap and doubt myself. There’s no amount of gratitude in the world that I could ever repay you with and even now I owe you more than just gratitude. I could never give you what you deserve, though, I won’t ever be able to face the debt, emotional or otherwise.

I will always love you, Rowan, and nothing will ever change that. Our circumstances have put us on opposite sides of a line that neither of us can cross, but perhaps in other lifetime you and I would have been happily married and taking on the world together. I try not to think about what could have been because it only makes me realise how much I messed up; you know me, I would never admit to my flaws out loud, but that needed to be addressed. However, as much as I regret letting you go, it was the right thing to do. It meant that you could dedicate yourself to your job and to the people of New York without something bad ever happening to me, without having to worry if I’d be threatened by somebody you’d put behind bars, and without you ever being ruled by your heart instead of your head.

You’re a good man- the best I know- and I hope that you don’t change for anybody.

Purposely, she had broken his heart. And truthfully, it had never healed. If he knew then what he knew now, then Rowan wouldn’t have let Evie go so easily, but maybe her strength and determination to leave saved him the heartache and effort of having to beg her to stay. She was also such a private person and he a public one and that maybe they were just too polarising to have worked out. Evie was so wrong for him, but everything had felt so right: another stupid cliché Rowan hated, yet fit the situation perfectly.

The letter, which would later find its permanent home in his nightstand drawer, was conflicting. It didn’t make Rowan feel better, however it didn’t make him feel worse either. But he did appreciate it. It was implied that she would never intentionally see him again, although he hoped that he’d one day see Evie on the other side of the street wearing her signature red coat, the confident expression that said ‘I’m unstoppable’, and that Rowan would catch her eye and they’d exchange smiles, both of them knowing it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

[haloxsaisha]

So Good.

[Lewis Hamilton x Actress!Reader]

Based on: So Good by Halsey.

Warnings: Angst, Abu Dhabi and Monza 2021 (I'm so sorry), some fluff, few cheesy dialogues (cause I'm a dumbass), depression, insomnia, eating disorder and weight loss.

Word Count: 15.5K words (I've never written this much in my life so far, I'm so proud of myself).

A/N: My first Lewis fic, I wasn't expecting it to be done with during the Abu Dhabi race week but oh well💀 I'm personally quite happy with how this turned out! I hope y'all like it <33

Bold and italicized font: song lyrics.

Italicized font: flashbacks.

“I remember the night, I was so frustrated.”

You could only bury your hands, head filled with shock and completely blank.

You never thought this would ever happen to anybody, let alone just him. Nobody who had watched the sport did.

Everything inside you began to sink in the moment the whole mess about unlapping the cars started and as the rest of the race unfolded, you felt yourself crumbling.

Lewis staying in his car in silence, in disbelief at the parc ferme had been playing on your mind again and again.

You were supposed to be there. You had to be there for him.

You had apologized to him multiple times for not being there in a championship decider race, especially at a win that was so historically important but he dismissed your countless apologies saying that he could understand. You had been shooting for a movie in London since November, which also meant that you hadn't met each other in more than a month, work and COVID restrictions making its way in. There was one thing that you and Lewis always stood by, which was that your jobs would be given the first priority. Understandable from both sides because your works usually involve a lot of people, meaning that compromising on it was quite hard and it was also very important to both of you from an emotional perspective, although you had to admit the Formula 1 driver was reaching an equivalent position to your work in your heart.

You watched him speak in the post race interview and then the moment he shared with his father, leaning his head as he took in the encouraging words being whispered in his ear. He had always been so strong and it was something you admired about him.

You sent him a message (which you hoped would provide a bit of comfort), mentioning that what happened was unfair, he deserved that win after everything he'd been through the entire season and that night and how proud you were of him. Also adding that he could call you when he felt like doing so because he wouldn't be in the headspace to talk to people at the time.

Seven hours later, you were done with your scenes for the day at ten in the night. The first thing you did after entering the vanity was checking your phone and your message to him was still at 'delivered', which increased your worry and anxiety.

After a bit, you got the idea of dropping a message to Angela, who was somebody you were close to too. You knew the Wolffs, Miles and Daniel, you even met his parents, stepmum and his siblings too when you'd been to the Silverstone race but Angela was somebody you bonded along with very well. She was one of the sweetest persons you'd met and also took care of you like an older sister would whenever you were around.

But you'll only get a response a while later since it's probably the wee hours at Abu Dhabi right now, you thought as you sighed. The race and your work has already drained out all your energy and despite your mind being absolutely restless because of how anxious you felt, but you had to drive yourself to sleep somehow. The director wouldn't be happy seeing her lead actress with puffy eyes and barely any energy the next day.

By the time you landed on your bed, it struck midnight and your phone let out the notification sound, showing the message from Angela which said that Lewis wasn't doing great and hadn't spoken to anybody yet.

Now how were you going to be able to sleep after knowing that?

“I touch your hand for the first time, I see it on your face, then another lifetime's flashin' by.”

"You see the star there? That one's called Sirius." he tells you, pointing to a specific region in the night sky.

"I didn't peg you to be somebody who was familiar with Harry Potter references, Hamilton." you give him a surprised, yet impressed look.

"There's a lot more to me than meets the eye darling, you'll see." he tells you cockily and you playfully rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

"This might just be one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen." you said in awe, your eyes fixed at the sparkling stars laid on an endless canvas of the dark blue sky.

"Mhm yeah, it definitely is." the sweet and distracted voice of the man who'd been surrounding you and your thoughts for the past couple of months came through and you turned your head towards him, finding him looking at you.

You felt your cheeks heat and you could only let out a giggle in response, not knowing how to respond because of how flustered he made you feel.

Lewis Hamilton was definitely a lot more cheesy than one would ever assume.

"I'm sorry I couldn't plan anything fun, there's pandemic restrictions so everything around is almost shut." he apologizes and you melt at how heartful he sounds about it.

"Don't be ridiculous Lew, I've loved every moment of this date so far." you assure him with a soft smile. Star gazing with somebody you've admired for so long as a first date was something that nobody could beat.

"Well, how can I make the date better?" he asks and your eyes light up in silent laughter thinking he's joking but then you look at him, it turns out that he was actually being serious.

Dear god, what type of dates had this man been on?

"Well that's a hard one because I feel like the date has already met the standards." you pretend to think for a moment "Maybe you could let Roscoe join us?" you ask him, giving him a grin which made him fall for you even more.

"Now that's not fair." he playfully whines "This time is for us. He loves you too much, will take away all your attention from me." he said, referring to all the times the both of you spend with your mutual friends. He was right, the bulldog did take a lot of your time.

"Well I've at least gotta win over one heart right?" you said, reflecting your doubts about him considering if the thing between the both you was anything serious or not.

"Well in that case, his heart will be the second one you've won over from this house." he said and you looked at him, your eyes softening with warmth and your cheeks turning red as you move closer to him.

He feels it too, you thought as he wrapped his arm around you, making you sigh in bliss.

Nearly two years later, the morning after the catastrophic race, the first thing you saw after waking up were the words "I don't think I can do this anymore, I need some space and time away." on your phone and at that moment, you had been absolutely destroyed.

It felt like everything in you had just been dropped down and shattered without any noise, you just feel so hollow and empty on the inside.

You couldn't ridicule him for feeling devastated, anybody would understand how much yesterday meant to him and how it affected him even if they didn't know him personally.

But you believed that you were comfortable enough to be with each other through any situation, happiness or despair. You believed that he found the same comfort, solace and safety that you found in him.

But it turns out that he didn't. The both of you went all the way from a video call like a regular couple would before the race to a text like somebody that didn't really mean anything to him a later, he pushed you out.

“I bet you're happy and that's fine. But I regret just one thing, I never got to change your mind”

He'd been back on the screens for the next season. Despite all the news about him discontinuing racing, you knew he'd go back.

Racing was everything to him, it was quite literally everything he'd known. He'd spoken openly about the struggles that him and his dad faced to reach where he was in the racing industry.

He knew how to rise up from the worst moments, he always had it in him.

You were still a mess. It had been almost three months since the text which broke everything in you. But there he was, having interviews with his teammate, a happy grin on his face.

Being an F1 fan for a long time, you always kept up with whatever news was on about the grid and Lewis had quite the spotlight when it came to headlines about his professional life or personal life.

You knew that he wasn't really the person for serious relationships after a point in his career. All of his focus was on Formula 1, rightfully so, which was why one night stands and short flings were what he went for.

You knew that even before you met him, you knew it whilst being friends but you still agreed to date him despite that one thing freaking you out. He had a hold on you, such an aura around him. You were always in this bubble of happiness, positivity and peace when you were with him.

Although his past relationships made you think about a lot of 'what if-s', how could you say no to a guy who made you feel like that?

Well, this was the consequence of giving in to emotions rather than logic. Your heart had been shattered like fritted glass, while he was back to normal like the break up was nothing but a minor collateral damage.

Work was always a top priority but all those moments that the both of you shared had a lot of meaning right?

“And I'm doin' okay. In the back of my mind, all I hear is your name”

The last time you slept well was the night before the Abu Dhabi race. You were normally a light sleeper, which gave you a pretty decent amount of sleep to feel good the next day.

But ever since that night, your sleep had come down only a few hours every week. You'd just walk about the room feeling restless, scroll through your phone or laptop or the television to pass time, there were some days where you just stared at the ceiling, the thoughts in your head just rushing in with memories of Lewis and you'd end up bursting into tears, sleeping over taking you after your eyes would turn red and puffy. And after two or three hours, you'd be awake again, tossing and turning around the bed.

And it was safe to say the sight of food started making you feel sick, your face would literally scrunch at the sight of it. But you still had to eat a minimum amount of food that would help you survive a day at work. Completely cutting out on food, which you had the urge to do, would completely affect the image on you and your career, which you felt was too risky.

Everybody had noticed you spiralled down, you could feel it too but you just stopped caring about anything after a point, you just felt so empty in your head to push yourself. Acting was the only thing that had you taking steps forward in life.

Soon enough, there were articles out on the news about you, commenting on the drastic weight loss that had been noticed in you, caused by the change in your eating habits. Your fans also began to notice how your use of social media had come down drastically, since you always had the habit of interacting with them frequently and also shared random pictures and videos from your day at work, especially if it was in a place far from home.

And that made the pressure from the people close to you increase. After getting to know about your break up with Lewis, your parents and close friends urged you to talk more, to let out how you were feeling. But you always convinced them by saying that you were alright, that you understood why he needed the break up and you just went along with life, your work satisfying you at the moment.

The moment you came back home after you were done with the movie you were working on for the past couple of months, the first thing your mum did was make you sit next to her and reminded you of all the hard times you'd been through, of all the people you had in your life who still cared for you and loved you, about how there were people out there who admired your work.

And that's when it struck you, that yes, you did lose a particular feeling love in your life. But there was so much more to life that made living your life whole heartedly rather than making it more painful for you, more that you'd already been through because of your heart getting broken by a certain British man.

You took a small break from your work and the fast life around you, spending the time with your family and friends, parallelly going to therapy as well. Although the scar of that heartbreak was always going to remain, the slow paced yet quality time helped your wounds heal little by little.

And then you were back to work, feeling better than you'd been for the past couple of months. You were able to breathe freely, feeling the light weighted space in you.

But there were still certain things that reminded you of him. One day, you saw a bull dog being taken on a walk by its owner, your mind would fly to how Roscoe would lie down in between you and Lewis, snuggling in the night. The smell or sight of tea would remind you about how the both of you would keep arguing about whether tea or coffee was better, you loving coffee and him being always so British and loving tea. But nevertheless he knew how to make coffee the way you liked it and you knew the same for his tea. The sound of a piano would remind you of the times he would play it and sing his favourite songs, even teaching you the basics of how to play it sometimes. Stargazing and watching Formula 1 was something you just stopped altogether, not being able to handle the intensity of the emotions it brought in you.

If there was anything that made you feel relieved now, it was about how it didn't hurt as much as it used to and how the control he had your thoughts had come down.

"Talkin' wildly out of context, I wish things were different. But I'll never know”

What the hell just happened, you thought as you looked at the screen of the TV in the garage.

It took you everything to not break into a string of curse words but if anything, you were really worried if Lewis was okay.

The man literally had a car on top of his with the tyres nearly touching his head, dear god.

And you had no clue how he would react after coming back to the garage. He wasn't the one to tantrums but was he somebody who just stayed quiet? Did he deal with the anger he felt? Would he like having anybody around him to comfort him? Or did he prefer being alone?

You had spent a good number of days with him, an amount of time that could turn into a bunch of months if you added them up, but all the races you'd been to for the past year were always good ones. You were there when he won his seventh world championship but this was the first time you were around during a bad race, a one with a scary DNF.

He didn't know you were here for the race. Due to the COVID protocols, you had to quarantine for a few days before being able to meet Lewis and you didn't have a break or gap of that many days that often which made being at his races quite hard. So you thought that you could surprise him at the Monza GP, coming into the garage after he got into the car.

What you planned was to hide in some corner of the Mercedes garage and meet him in his driver's room after he went there, yelling a cheerful "surprise!". But you obviously couldn't do that now, considering what just happened. How you would meet him was barely on your mind now, you were scared about how he was after the crash.

"Hey, he's back in his driver's room. You can go and meet him now." Angela came and told you, a few minutes after you were restlessly tapping your feet up and down.

"Oh thank god, how is he? No injuries right?" you ask her anxiously, a shaky breath leaving your body.

"He's alright now, nothing serious has happened to him. He has some headache and pain in the neck, he'll be back to normal in a matter of some time." she assures you, giving you a comforting smile and places her around your shoulder, knowing how worried you get about him.

"Would he be alright with having me around now Ange? I think he'd want some silence for now." you said, giving her an unconvincing smile.

"Don't be ridiculous, he just had a scary race. None of his family and close friends are around now either, he'll obviously love to have you around now. You'll make his day better and he'll calm down." Angela convinces you and you walk towards his driver's room, still debating in your mind if you should step in or not.

Angela knocks the door and speaks out so that Lewis thinks it her, rushing towards the team before Lewis opens the door so that the both of you can have your space.

The sound of the room's door opening brings you out of your over thinking. "Um, hey?" you tell him in a shaky voice, eyes scanning over him to see if he was alright. Of course Angela wouldn't lie to you but for some reason, it wasn't sinking in your mind until you saw him.

His eyes widened in surprise "You're here? Wait a minute- you're actually here." he says and his reaction made your nerves calmed down a bit.

"Well, the plan was to keep a rather happy surprise." you say, giving him a weak smile "If you want to be alone for some time, I'll go back and sit with Ange, I totally understand-" he cut off your rambling by taking your hand in his and pulling you in for a hug.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm glad you're here. C'mon in." he said, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his forehead on your shoulder "missed you and that scent so much." he mumbles as you place your hand through his braids, running your fingers through his hair to calm him down, like he always liked it.

"I can feel your heartbeat and it's going crazy. We've been together for a year and I still scare you?" he teases you, referring to the initial days of knowing him. Timid was an understatement. Having been a huge fan of the sport and him for years before you first met him, you always shared many shy smiles and few words with him, scared that your rather talkative side which always went on rambling would annoy him.

"I don't know- that just, that was scary. I'm so worried baby, the tyre was literally so close to your head." you sighed as he sat on the couch, placing you on his lap.

"Stuff like this happens time and again in racing, you've watched it over the years. At that moment I tried to shuffle inside the car as much as possible and lowered my head down, so nothing from the car reached my head. Don't worry sweetheart, I'm totally alright." he says, rubbing circles on your waist in the hopes of calming you down.

"Ange told me you have a headache and neck pain though, don't lie to me." you mumbled, pushing away the braids to a side and placing a small kiss on his forehead. He just gives you a reassuring smile, his eyes signifying that it'll be gone soon and he places his head on your shoulder, snuggling in for comfort as you placed your hand on his back and rubbing it up and down.

Thinking of the memory from that day made you wonder only one thing. Would the both of you still be together if you were together? If he would've seeked your comfort or just push you away nevertheless.

You guess you'd never know, Monza was one DNF while what happened at Abu Dhabi was something brought in such loss and affected his perspective about his career and life.

You knew it didn't end well, there were so many things left unspoken between the two of you. It was bad, but both of you would've been so good together.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Would you ever do another poly Ghostface x himbo reader?

Billy Loomis x Stu Macher x Himbo Male reader

Headcanons

Part 2

This is connected to the other imagine I wrote, but could be read as stand alone, I think?

-          You learn about the murders the next day, and begin to worry and fret over Billy and Stu, making sure they’re not hurt.

-          There’s no chance you even suspect them of being the killers as you couldn’t fathom them doing that kind of thing.

-          They thank whatever holy is watching over them.

-          It’s a small town, so the officers most likely know you, so they also know you aren’t the brightest, so you aren’t even a suspect, but they have to question you anyways.

-          The three of you are pulled into questioning, and you embarrassed tell them you got drunk and passed out in Stu’s room.

-          You feel blood drain from your face as you mentioned Stu’s room. Because no one knows the three of you are together, and its weird for a guy to sleep in another guy’s bed.

  -          The officers question why you were there, and you tell them your teammates told you about the party, so you went, but everyone else left not long after for some reason, so you just watched movies and got drunk with Randy.

-          They ask about your relationship with Sidney and Tatum, as they were also killed. You explain how the three of you had been arguing, because of what had happened with Billy.

-          The officers keep asking about your relationship to Billy and Stu, and you fumble over your words and can’t look them in the eye as you blush.

-          They seem to understand at some point what is going on between you three, and that’s why you try and fail not to talk about it, and they let you go.

  -          You end up going home as Billy and Stu are still being questioned. And seeing as school and all your practice has been cancelled for at least a week or two, you just flop down on your bed.

-          You end up falling asleep as you still have a killer hangover.

-          When you wake up, its because Stu flops himself down on top of you which startles you awake.

-          You wrap your arms around Stu, and bury your face in his neck as frustrated tears gather in your eyes because of everything that’s happened.

-          Billy sits down on your other side, and runs a hand through your hair. He mutters quiet comforting words as you cry.

-          When the emotions have finally become more manageable, you get out of bed and go to take a shower as you hadn’t been able to that morning.

  -          The two killers quietly talk together. They had already decided to tell you nothing and keep you in the dark.

-          They loved you very much, but they didn’t want you involved. They knew you were too sweet to hurt anybody, and would rather turn it on yourself than anyone else.

-          They just had to go out of their way to protect you, as they didn’t want your light to be put out by anyone else, and if that meant they had to pull on the Ghostface mask again to do it, they would.

  -          When you finally finished showering, you came back into the room in your boxers and the three of you cuddled on your bed.

-          You pressed soft pecks against the bruises the two had gotten, from what you believed to be the killer. And you made extra sure to take care around their stab wounds.

-          As the two cuddled in on either side of you, they could almost feel their heart swell as you looked at them with worry, not wanting them to hurt.

-          After Billy told you they were alright, you settled in and turned on a movie on your tv.

-          The two killers only became more sure in their decision, that you made to be protected and cared for.

[purple-babygirl]

request if open; daddy!bucky had a bad day and little!reader is just trying to comfort him but he accidently lashes out and yells at her/pushes her and immediately feels guilty but she regresses even more into her little space and is scared of him, you can kinda play around w this and figure out how it ends! xx

Pairing: Mafia!Daddy!Bucky Barnes x f!little!reader

Word Count: 3,423 (you know you love me)

Warnings: ddlg dynamics, yelling, harsh treatment, crying, angst turned fluff?

A/N: thank you so much for sending this in, nonnie. i took your request and ran with it to angst land. Hope you enjoy xx💜

~~~~~

signature needed

“Dada,”

She could see Bucky’s frown, the lines on his forehead wrinkling his handsome face up. She knew it meant he was upset and she never wanted Daddy to be upset. She knew he never left her upset.

Bucky’s been looking like that since he walked through the mansion door that morning, barely acknowledging her when she greeted him. He almost forgot to give her her welcome-home kiss even.

“Not now, angel,” Bucky murmured, proceeding to flip through the papers covering his desk, huffing and puffing every now and then at the mess he was stuck trying to fix.

“Wanna show you somethin’,” she whispered, biting back a smile.

“Later, angel. I’m busy right now.”

He regretted telling her to come in. He should’ve known she’d be nothing but a distraction.

“Dada, jus’ take one look,” she bounced on her feet before slipping a neat sheet of paper on top of Bucky’s desk, momentarily blocking his view of the contracts he was angrily staring at. Now that made Bucky mad.

“I said I was busy!” Bucky shouted as his head snapped to her, his hand slamming down on the paper without even seeing it, blindly crumpling it and throwing it on the floor at her feet. She flinched at the sudden outburst, taking a step back.

“Dada,” tears filled her eyes as she looked at her discarded paper. Bucky just broke her heart.

“Why don’t you ever listen!” Bucky grabbed her arm tighter than usual, pulling her back to him, “How many times do I need to repeat the words for you to understand! I said not now, didn’t I?!” He let go of her arm with more force than he’d intended, making her stumble a little.

She was terrified now. Her heart pounded in her chest as she looked at Bucky with wide eyes. He has never lashed out on her like that, not even when she was big. She was scared. As her breath picked up, she wished she’d never left her playroom.

“Get out and don’t step into this office again until I tell you you can, you hear me?” Bucky growled, oblivious to the signs of regression and horror showing on her face.

Her quick nods set off no alarms in his head as he watched her run out of his office.

Bucky felt bad about taking his anger out on her the second she fled the room. He flopped back down with a huff, flipping through the contracts again and again with no focus. He threw them down carelessly, running his fingers through his hair, tugging at the roots in frustration.

Cracking his hurting neck, Bucky regretted raising his voice at her. He couldn’t see the words on the contracts; her teary eyes flashing through his mind every time he tried reading.

Why did he have to yell? He could’ve just looked at her paper. She was likely trying to show him a drawing. Why couldn’t he just go with it? He’s sworn he’d never let anybody hurt his angel and then he goes and does this?

Bucky was ashamed. What kind of Daddy was he if he treated his little like that? It was no excuse that he was still getting used to being a Daddy. Bucky knew that wasn’t how a man should treat his girl.

He bowed forward, picking up the balled paper by his desk. He carefully straightened it, deciding to fix his angel’s damaged drawing and make it up to her.

Only it wasn’t a drawing; the paper was a handwritten Daddy-Angel contract. It even had colourful flowers, bees and butterflies decorating the paper and everything.

She was probably trying to play office with him; probably just wanted Bucky to pretend he was signing her paper too.

A sad smile spread across Bucky’s lips as he read the paper. The contract stated that

- Dada will smile

- Dada will not be angry no more

- Dada will let me sit on his lap (will be quiet pp)

- Dada will play with me after work

Dada: ……………..

The paper ended with a free space for Bucky to sign in case of agreement to the ‘terms’.

There were a lot of moments where Bucky wished he could turn back time, but not being able to do so in this very moment seemed to torture him the most. He was an asshole.

She just wanted him to calm down. She respected that he was working and she wasn’t trying to interrupt, she merely wanted him to smile. She even pinky promised to sit quietly in his lap.

Bucky has messed up and it was for nothing because the damage to his work has already been done. He shouted at her like she was responsible when she was just trying to help him feel better.

Bucky got his pen out of his pocket, signing the empty place by his name, remorsefully sighing at his utter stupidity.

~

“Angel,” Bucky called, knocking on the door before opening it.

She wasn’t in her playroom, but Bucky could see her round table full of similar papers to the one he had folded in his pocket.

She’s made at least 6 of these ‘contracts’, some of them were written in different colours or had spelling mistakes.

She’d obviously worked hard until she settled on the paper to give him and he ended up throwing it on the floor.

Bucky’s hand rubbed his face, frustrated at himself and his lack of control. An asshole was what he was. An asshole.

“Angel, where are you, baby?” Bucky sighed, opening the bedroom door to see her sitting, hugging her knees on the large bed.

She looked too tiny bundled up like that and her muffled sniffles punched at Bucky’s heart.

“Angel.”

She only lifted her head up when she felt the bed dip under Bucky’s weight and panic flashed over her delicate features.

“Baby, don’t cry,” Bucky said, his hand instinctively moving to wipe her tears only to have her flinch back, squeezing her eyes shut as if she was awaiting a blow.

Bucky’s heart stopped beating for a second when he realized what had just happened.

She was scared of him. His angel had flinched away from his touch. A huge lump formed in Bucky’s throat as she opened her eyes again, “angel?”

“Please don’ hurt me. Won’ come to the office. Won’ leave the room.” She shook her head and sobbed, scurrying back on the bed and away from Bucky.

This pained Bucky more than any punishment he thought he deserved. The look on her face was enough for him to want the walls to open up and swallow him.

“Angel, I would never hurt you. You know that.” Bucky whispered, sniffing back the tears about to spill down his bearded cheeks.

He needed to hear her say she did. He needed to know she knew Bucky could never hurt her.

She looked from Bucky to her left arm where his metal hand had grabbed her earlier. His fingers had left a mark around her arm. The skin was still pulsing as if his hold on her never loosened.

It was too late and it didn’t matter what he said because he’d already hurt her and the evidence was on her body.

Bucky’s mouth opened and closed as he swallowed again. He didn’t know what to say. He was supposed to be the one protecting her, not the one hurting her. How could he do such a thing to his angel?

“Oh, baby,” he breathed, shaking his head regretfully before trying to get closer to her.

Her instant reaction was to crawl back further and Bucky’s heart sank to his stomach. He felt his soul leaving his body when he looked her in the eyes and saw fear.

A tear betrayed him, falling down, gliding by his lips. Bucky wiped it away quickly, sniffing and clearing his throat.

“I signed your contract, angel.” Bucky got the paper out of his pocket, opening it and putting it on the bed for her to see.

Her eyes looked down and more tears left them at the sight of her once fine work now ruined.

“I’m so sorry, angel. Daddy was bad, baby. I’m sorry,” Bucky pleaded, his fingers reaching out for hers.

She pulled her hand away quickly, hiding it behind her back and Bucky knew he had really messed up. It was no use trying.

She was scared of him. His touch frightened her and was no longer a symbol of comfort to her.

He took his hand away, straightening his back and getting off the bed.

“I-I’ll see you at lunch then.” Bucky sniffed again.

“And angel?” he called from the door, getting her attention.

“Thank you for caring for daddy. I love you.” Bucky has never heard his voice as weak as he did in that moment and he felt even worse when she didn’t say it back.

~

When the table was set and Bucky came out of his office to find her chair empty, another lump was quick to form in his throat.

He wasn’t even hungry. He had no appetite to eat; he just wanted to see her but didn’t have the guts to peek into their bedroom again.

“Angel?” Bucky was ready to knock on the bedroom door but it was already open.

He carefully pushed it and took a look inside to find the bed empty. He tried not to freak out as he knocked the en suite bathroom door and got no answer. When he opened it, she wasn’t there either.

Bucky could hear his own blood pumping in his ears because she was no where to be found in her playroom as well.

She left. She left him and she had every right to. How could he lose her? How could he lose the one good thing in his life?

Tears distorted Bucky’s vision as his hand clutched the side of the door. His heart clenched at the thought of never seeing her again, never hearing her sweet voice call for him again; never getting to smell her on his pillow again.

The sound of her feet padding on the floor behind him pulled Bucky out of his head and he thought he’d imagined it for a second. He turned around and she froze when his eyes fell on her.

She shifted on her feet, hiding one behind the other and internally hoping Bucky wouldn’t notice she was roaming around with bare feet when he’d specifically asked her not to before.

That was the last of Bucky’s concerns at the moment though. He was just relieved she didn’t leave him even if he deserved it.

“Where were you, angel?” the tenderness of Bucky’s tone let her know he wasn’t mad at her for walking around shoeless.

“Couldn’ fin’ PinePine,” she replied softly, referring to the white feline, “’s lunch time.” Her eyes remained fixed on her feet as she avoided Bucky’s.

He was secretly thankful for that, not wanting her to see him in tears twice in the same day.

She was so pure; so caring and loving to everyone around. Bucky found himself slightly jealous of his own cat for a second there.

“Where did you find, PinePine?” He asked calmly, just wanting to hear her speak to him.

“Downstairs,” she answered shortly, leaving Bucky disappointed.

“Let’s go then. The table’s set.” Bucky smiled, hesitantly offering her his hand.

She stood unmoving for a few seconds, eyes still casted down, before she decided to hold onto Bucky’s pointer.

He sighed, knowing she was still scared but didn’t want to reject him. She was so sweet on him even when he least deserved it.

~

When lunch was over, Bucky let her know she could come to the office whenever she wanted, although he doubted she would. She gave a small nod before running back to the other room as Bucky shouted an “I’ll get back to work then.” behind her.

He didn’t actually get back to work. He couldn’t focus. He couldn’t think of anything but the way she pulled away from his touch every single time he tried to come near her, or the way she forced herself to hold one of his fingers as they walked less than 10 steps together to the dining room. She'd even begged him not to hurt her earlier.

How did he let himself fuck up so bad? When did they get there? What was he going to do now? How does one get forgiven after being this awful?

A lamp lit above the mafia boss’ head and he grabbed a clean sheet of paper before he could lose the idea.

Bucky was going to write his angel a contract. A pardon contract.

His Daddy-Angel 2.0 contract stated that:

- Angel will forgive Daddy

- Angel will not be sad with Daddy no more

- Angel will sit on Daddy’s lap (even if she doesn’t wanna be quiet)

- Angel will play with Daddy after work if she still wants to

Angel: …………….

Bucky sighed as he tried to draw anything other than sloppy hearts in the empty places around the words to decorate the paper but he was terrible at this. He was desperately in need of his angel’s forgiveness though so he scratched his beard and kept working.

Bucky needed to know she wasn’t actually scared of him; not her. Anyone but her. He wouldn’t be able to take it. He wouldn’t be able to ever tolerate himself if she didn’t forgive him.

Bucky’s tongue was hanging outside the side of his mouth as he drew another birdie on the bottom of the contract. It didn’t really look like a bird, unless of course that bird was struck by lightning a hundred times before, but Bucky thought it would do. After all, he was no artist. He didn’t draw. He didn’t deal with colours; he dealt with weapons. His hands were rough for a reason. But he would do anything for his angel. Anything to win her over again.

A knock on his door cut off his focus and Bucky groaned.

“Come in.”

He felt sorry for whoever had the bad luck of interrupting him during his contract-making, ready to yell at someone.

Bucky looked up from his desk when he didn’t hear anyone speaking, and his face has never softened so fast.

It was his girl who’d come into the office. She had her folded contract in her hand and her eyes were looking kind of puffy from crying.

Bucky just stared at her in remorse, pushing his chair back a bit as he watched her walk closer to his seat.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry. He was so sorry. He’s never been sorrier in his life. He wanted nothing more than to take every word and every harsh touch back.

She stood there for a second, waiting to see if Bucky was going to kick her out this time too. When he didn’t, she rounded the desk and stopped by Bucky’s chair.

Bucky remained speechless, not wanting to scare her away again. She came to him. She came on her own. Unless she came to throw the contract in his face and break up with him, that should be a good sign.

Her tongue peeked outside, wetting her lips nervously before she stretched an arm out, ever so carefully nearing it to Bucky’s thigh. Her gaze was glued to Bucky’s face, gauging his reaction. When Bucky’s frown didn’t show up she let her palm touch Bucky’s leg.

Bucky didn’t understand what she was doing but he wouldn’t dream of questioning her. He was just glad she was okay with touching him again at all after what he’d done, even if she was doing it so cautiously it broke his heart to a thousand pieces.

With her stare trained on Bucky, she stepped forward, slotting herself in the small space between Bucky’s chair and his desk, facing him. Her hands moved to grab on Bucky’s strong shoulders, still watching his face. She swallowed before effortlessly climbing on, cozily curling herself on his lap.

Bucky’s heart swelled as he felt her nose nuzzle his shirt. His own emotions overwhelmed him and tears gathered in his eyes.

“Angel?” his voice was barely a whisper as he looked down to her, careful not to startle her.

She looked up at him worriedly, thinking he didn’t want her where she was.

Her eyes showed fear for a short second before she unfolded the scrunched paper in her hand, a finger pointing to the third term.

“Dada signed,” she said, her eyes so innocent and Bucky couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“Oh, angel,” Bucky’s tears uncontrollably rolled down, wetting his beard.

He held her so close, she could hear his heartbeats drumming in his chest.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Bucky cried, wetly kissing her forehead over and over.

“I’m sorry, my angel. Forgive me,” he repeated, leaning down to kiss her bruised shoulder before lifting both hands to his lips and kissing them, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

“Dada,” her smaller hands cupped Bucky’s cheeks as sadness covered her features.

She’s never seen Bucky like that. Not even at his father’s funeral did he sob like that.

She didn’t know it but to Bucky, the thought of losing her hurt more than the actual loss of a family member who never gave two shits about him.

She was Bucky’s everything. His love, his partner, his companion, his baby angel. She was the one who stole his heart and took good care of it. Bucky would give up anything and everything in life and choose her to forever keep, protect and love.

Her short thumbs wiped under Bucky’s eyes, pushing his tears away. She turned to straddle him and wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her cheek on his shoulder.

The smell of her hair calmed Bucky’s heart down as he turned his face to kiss her head, hands settling on her back, “I will never hurt you, angel. Please tell me you know that, my love.”

Bucky’s hoarse voice had her pulling away from the hug. She sat back and looked her man in the eyes, her thumb brushing his chin, “I know,” she whispered and Bucky could see it in her eyes. She did. She believed him. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her.

She stroked Bucky’s cheeks as he sniffled, smiling gratefully at her reply. And his whole world lit up again when she smiled back, timidly pecking the corner of his pink lips.

Oh she was a real angel. No one’s ever been this kind to Bucky before, only her. Bucky kissed her hand one more time, quietly thanking her for forgiving him.

“I made you a contract too,” Bucky told her with a chuckle, pointing to the desk behind her as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.

Her mouth opened in a silent gasp, her smile reaching her wide eyes. She turned around in Bucky’s lap, planting her knees on the chair between Bucky’s open legs and stood on them to take a look.

She took her time reading the words and then she was off Bucky’s lap and bolting out of the room.

The man was about to lose it again, thinking she’d remembered his cruelty towards her and changed her mind when she came running back inside the office.

She climbed back on the chair between Bucky’s thighs, her glitter pen in hand.

Bucky sighed in relief, his lips spreading with an adoring smile as he watched her write her name letter by letter in glittery ink where her signature was needed. Bucky held her waist, kissing her back as he admired how focused she was.

She closed the cap on the pen, placing it on the desk before picking up the contract to show Bucky.

“Angel signed,” she beamed, plopping herself against Bucky’s chest and clinging to him, earning a hearty chuckle from him.

“I love you so much, angel. More than anything in the world.” Bucky gently held her face by the chin, giving her lips a short kiss.

“I love you too, dada.” She smiled, blushing as she hid her face in his chest again.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him and closing his eyes, just enjoying the feel of her body against his once more, silently promising his angel to never hurt her ever again.

~~

Tags:

@harrysthiccthighss

@tinystudentfirepurse

@lavendercitizen

@tumblin-theworldaway

[lady-ashfade]

Annoyance.

Doctor Stephen strange x fem!Reader.

Gif not mine, if you want it taken down please tell me.

Plot: You and strange always had fights and being annoyed with each other. Today he just realized why you had so many fights.

Warnings: Fighting (Nothing to bad), bad writing.

I’ve never written for him before in all my years of writing! And the thought of a annoyed strange is very funny to me.

Length: Very short.

Stephen Strange has been in alot of odd situations. Like fighting a purple alien that used magic stones to do what he thought was best.

Or when he found himself fighting or saving the most weird people or creatures.

But what he found the most strange was always fighting with a sarcastic brat who couldn’t keep her mouth shut. And no, she was never like that with anybody else but him.

“That’s not how it works” You commented at the man working beside you. He had been trying to open a door that seem to be having non of his magic.

“And you know how it works? I could open the door but I have a annoying woman who keeps interrupting me” He frustratingly said as he tried to use another spell.

“Interrupting you? I was enjoying a nice cup of tea when I saw you sneak down here and I knew you would do something stupid. And here we are” You cross your arms as he turned to look at you, again falling his attempts to open the door.

“You think you’re so smart don’t you? Hm, I bet you couldn’t even get as far as I have” he stepped away for you to try.

He didn’t understand why you hated him so much or why it got under his skin. The way you seemed to have so much hatred for him made him sick.

He didn’t like it.

“You really want into this door, huh? Allowing me to do your work, oh thank you so much doctor strange for I am only humble to obey” You bowed your head to him like someone do to a higher ups.

The sound of the sarcasm and sass in your voice made him grow even more frustrated. So he had finally broke and got angry.

“Why do you hate me so much? You can’t even keep your mouth shut for two minutes to help me. And don’t even get me started on the disrespect” He stop as he raised his voice at you.

“Oh and how did I disrespect you?“ You stepped forward and started to move your hands around dramatically.

“That right there. It is like I am not anyone but a being of annoyance.”

“Yeah, well. You are annoying with thinking you know best all the time”

You both now stood inch from each other. It wasn’t the first time you both had gotten into a fight like this.

“You do the same exact thing. Picking at every little thing I do, like you know everything about me”

“Because I do, you’re not that hard to read. From your stupid hair and your face to the voice that annoys me every waken moment” You pointed into his chest and looked right into his eyes.

“Well the feelings mutual, but what are going to do about it? Like you could” He laughed at his own comment seeing as it made you even more pissed.

“This”

You lended up and kissed him by pulling his face towards you. It was the easiest thing he had ever done by kissing you back. Arms around your waist and around his neck.

It was rough and passionate almost like another competition. But it was very hard to forget because it felt like it was meant to happen.

A big unlocking sound was heard and he pulled away from you and looked behind him. “Holy shit” He saw the room he has been trying to find, only to discover it was nothing like he expected.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you strange. Also why you wanted into a Casino room will forever be a question I hope to get answered.” He watches you turn away and sway your hips as you walked away.

He looked back to the door and you, then let out a laugh at what had just really happened.

“You got it bad” The voice of wong said from behind him coming from in the room.

“Shut up”

[canadiansummer]

TITLE: Tensions PAIRING: Dmitri Antonov x Reader / Enzo x Reader REQUEST: from anonymous: “Hey! I saw your post about one-shots/imagines to work on while you’re working on Fork in the Road. Was wondering if it could be something with American!reader x Enzo. Something like when Hopper, Murray, Enzo and Joyce are waiting for Yuri to fix the helicopter. Reader is waiting with them and Yuri is making rude comments to/about reader and Enzo defends them. Feel free to really make it your own. This is my first ever request so I’m sorry if this is terrible lmao!” WARNINGS: reader’s a smoker, Yuri being an asshole, some sexual insinuations.  NOTE: Thanks so much for requesting something! I hope this fulfills what you’re hoping to see!  

“Ignore him…” 

As much as you knew the passing comment was meant in good nature, you couldn’t help the frustration that settled in your gut as you placed a heavy, rusty tool box down inside the hangar that Yuri had just moved the helicopter from. Murray watched you with his arms crossed, a warning in his tone but knowing his mutual dislike of the man in question kept you from snapping at him too harshly. 

“I don’t think I need to tell you that I’m in over my head here,” you said, taking a glance toward the questionable looking aircraft. “I’m way more a pilot than an engineer, and he sniffed that out about me pretty early on. Doesn’t help that you and Joyce crashed the plane when you could have just asked me…” 

“Not our fault that we weren’t really thinking straight when the plane was in a nosedive toward the ground and you had been tossed around,” Murray returned with a bite that you had gotten used to from him. “I don’t like him either, but he has the only way out of here.” 

“Can’t change anything now,” you said around a sigh, “Can you keep an eye on him? Make sure he’s working. I need a break before I can stomach another stray comment.” 

“Only for the sake of keeping the peace…” Murray muttered, but you still gave him an understanding and grateful nod. 

You weren’t too sure what Hopper, Joyce, and ‘Enzo’ were doing in the church but at the moment you just wanted to seek out your discarded jacket that had been soaked in your journey through that drainage pipe from the prison. (Honestly, from the looks of it, you labeled it as ‘water’ for the sake of your sanity.) It had been a while since you had a cigarette and you doubted the withdrawal was helping your mood. 

Not casting a look over at the helicopter where Yuri was working, you entered the church to see the mentioned three looking like they were about to part off to do their own things. Hopper caught your gaze, gesturing toward him with a small tilt of his head. You had Hopper hadn’t been super close back in Hawkins–you were more of Murray’s friend than anybody else here, but you had family in Hawkins and you had been on at least friendly terms with Jim. Despite Murray having some unflattering opinions about him. 

Really, you had shown up under Murray’s request, but you could admit that it was nice to see him alive. Despite the current situation. 

“We got a call to the States–or, a request for one,” Hopper explained, “Though, it might take a while…” 

“Well, as much as Yuri boasts, that bird out there isn’t really ready to fly any time soon.” 

“I’m just not sure we have much time…” 

“Yeah…” you replied around a sigh–the time constraints hadn’t left your mind, but you didn’t want to dwell on it for too long. “Do you know where I put my old jacket?”

“That raggedy thing?” Hopper asked around a small huff, “It was going to give you hypothermia, I wouldn’t bother with it.” 

“I’m just looking for some cigarettes. Yuri is driving me up the damn wall.” 

“I have some,” Enzo said, causing you to glance toward him as he gestured subtly toward the front of the church with his head. 

Really, you hadn’t had much interaction with him–outside of the ransom note you had been handed once you arrived at Joyce’s in California. Though, meeting him at the prison, you picked up on his levelheadedness and decided he wasn’t too bad. Hopper seemed to trust him, at least. Though, considering Yuri at the moment, he certainly was the better of the new faces you saw. So, you gestured toward the door with your free hand. 

“Yeah, alright. Thanks.” 

You followed him out toward the side of the church, accepting a cigarette and leaning to light it when he offered. While you were grateful to satisfy the craving, you couldn’t help but feel like he was doing this for another reason. Unless he had some moral rejection about cigarettes in the church. The eventual glance he took toward the helicopter seemed to confirm that, which made you occupy your time by taking a drag from the cigarette as you waited for him to voice whatever he was thinking. 

“Murray said you are a pilot?” he asked, earning him a small nod from you as you blew out the smoke in your throat.

“Not usually of helicopters, but he wanted some extra precautions if things went south. That we would have someone who knew how to get out here. I just…didn’t account for the plane crashing…” 

“What do you think of Yuri?”

“We’re not exactly on good terms,” you muttered, casting him a curious glance, “Anyway, weren’t you the one who arranged his involvement? Unless you’re not actually ‘Enzo.’”

“I am,” he said, shaking his head somewhat after a moment, “I thought I could trust him. Now, I expect him to try to double-cross us again.” 

While you knew it would be easy to blame him for this whole thing going south, it might not hold. Judging from his appearance, the heavy bruising around his eye and the blood on his face, he had certainly suffered for his oversight. Still, he knew Yuri, your little group had just met him. If he thought he was going to try to double-cross them again, you figured you should take that worry seriously. 

“I don’t know airplanes or helicopters inside and out,” you began, shifting to turn toward him more, “but I know enough to guess when something’s taking too long. I’ll watch out for it.” 

“I will too,” he said, “I don’t like sitting here. It is only matter of time before the prison or government finds us. We can’t really sit here if he is playing games.” 

You nodded thoughtfully, taking a drag from your cigarette as you turned that over in your head. 

                                                            ***

To add misery on top of misery, the temperature outside didn’t get any better the closer nightfall got. You also hadn’t had a decent meal or sleep in the last couple days and it wasn’t helping in trying to keep your head on the goal. Still, you did what you agreed to do, lingering by the helicopter to keep an eye on what Yuri was doing. For the most part, he seemed to run into problem after problem, though he was very vague about it. 

However, you did catch a look he tossed you at some point. 

“Are you sure prison warden is not more your calling?” he asked, “Would explain you sneaking off with the guard.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I may be busy, but I still saw you two sneaking off to back of church,” Yuri explained, getting back into the pilot’s seat again. “I was not born yesterday.” 

As much as you wanted to deny that, you knew he was looking for anything to get a rise out of you. He had been doing it all day. For what aim? You weren’t sure. Still, your short conversation with Enzo wasn’t lost on you. So, you instead took in a small breath, hugging your arms tightly around yourself as another shiver ripped up your spine. 

“You know that nobody here trusts you, right?” you asked, gesturing with your head toward the church and where you knew Murray was watching on. Probably for some confrontation–which you were sure was going to come along eventually if you had to continue to talk to Yuri and freeze out by the helicopter. 

“I don’t care about opinions of a traitor and a bunch of Americans,” Yuri replied with a scoff, taking a moment from looking over the console to glance toward you, arms resting on his knees. 

“I know that, but you’re forced along here,” you replied, tilting your head. “I’m guessing you’re trying to gain some control over the situation. Once you get the helicopter working, they have me and don’t need to rely on you. So, you’re stalling to buy yourself time until the prison catches up or some government officials get here. Which is it?”

“You watch too many movies,” Yuri replied, making you shrug. 

“Yeah, maybe. You must just be a shitty pilot who has no idea what he’s doing.” It was juvenile, but he had been taking pot shots at you all day and he certainly didn’t bother with professionalism. 

“You make a lot of observations, but Yuri has some of his own,” he said, stepping out of the helicopter to stand in front of you fully. As much as there was a heavy sense of mockery to his tone, you could tell you hit a bit of a nerve. “You did not expect me to be here either, so now you are looking for way to keep relevant. You either hover here or flutter around Antonov, whoever gives in first.” 

“I’ve interacted with him one-on-one just once,” you stated with a scoff. 

“Isn’t that all it takes?”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“Mudak!” Well, this wasn’t going to help your case. Still, Enzo walked up toward the both of you, which gave you a few moments to take a couple breaths at the hot coles that started to settle in your gut. “We have heard enough out of you. Fix the helicopter. I will not tell you again.” 

“Yes,” Yuri said, “Of course. While you are here, I suppose you are going to take American pilot? Really give an in-depth review of how to get out of here?”

“You–” The retort died in your throat as Enzo surged forward. 

It wasn’t a fully fledged fight, but it was certainly close to one as he grabbed the front of Yuri’s jacket and shoved him back against the side of the helicopter with an audible metallic crunch. You didn’t understand the string of Russian he let out, but the tone wasn’t pleasant and it didn’t change once he switched to English as Murray finally arrived, jogging up behind you as he demanded to know what was going on. 

“Make one more threat, comment, or waste more time, I will put a bullet in your head and give the job of getting this in the air to the American pilot to save us the trouble,” he stated, shoving Yuri back finally. “Get the helicopter working.” 

Feeling a headache coming on, you shook off Murray’s questioning hold on your arm as you turned to walk toward the church. As much as you knew this was the only way to get out, you were done dealing with him for the night. Still, you didn’t head inside just yet, placing your hands on your hips as you let out a heavy breath. The whole situation was getting ridiculous but in a way it had been slowly digging under your skin, the pressure and cold not helping any. 

“You alright?”

You were surprised to hear Enzo, his voice a lot closer than you were expecting. Still, you glanced toward him before waving a hand somewhat. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you replied, “I’ve heard worse. I’m just sick of him.” 

“You are not only one,” he said with a huff. 

“I also just don’t like having someone fight my battles for me, but he’s been at me all day so I guess I appreciate it,” you said, turning to look at him fully, “I…Is your name really ‘Enzo’?”

“No,” he replied, some amusement settling into his expression, “It is Dmitri.” 

“Thanks, Dmitri,” you said with a small grin. 

“I assume you don’t want to be called ‘American pilot’?” 

You let out a quick laugh, giving him your name as you extended your hand to shake in a formal, but rather lighthearted gesture. 

Dmitri’s grip was firm, a part of you at least relieved at the friendliness, even if he had to defend you against some unflattering insinuations. Still, you figured you might as well see if there was anything you could do to help out Joyce and Hopper, considering you weren’t about to spend more time with Yuri that night. 

It was far from over anyway, considering you walked in on Hopper having a rather intense conversation with someone on the phone. 

[lantsovsupremacist]

i saw that you asked for requests and i also saw that you wrote some nikolai stories based on taylor's songs (i loved). so you could write something based on wilders dreams or you are in love or call it what you want, you choose pls

MY BRAND yes of course i can.

nikolai lantsov: you are in love

and you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars...

“marry me.”

you shook your head. while any other girl would likely collapse onto the cobblestones had they the pleasure of hearing those words from the king, you would not. you could not. the possibility of accepting his proposal was a lie you no longer could afford.

“i have a certain inclination to your use of words, darling,” nikolai caught up to your strides easily, “without them, you answers are so very unclear.”

you stopped your pace, shutting your eyes. obviously, nikolai only meant to try and persuade you of his reasoning. he was unaware of how the repetition further shattered the pieces of your heart.

“stop asking,” you requested unevenly, “i cannot marry you because i cannot be a queen.”

“cannot or will not?” nikolai dropped his calm disposition. his words now swam through endless seas of exasperation.

eyes widening at his assumption, you glared, “your people will not accept a grisha on the throne. they will not make an exception for love because they cannot understand how such a thing between you and i could exist.”

albeit offended, nikokai softened, “and i wish i could do more to protect you but even i am unable to offer you reprieve from your own doubts.”

however bold or brash his words seemed, you took them because there was no other conceivable explanation. you refused to argue with him further, not when your remaining moments were already beginning to slip away.

“you have too much hope in the world.”

nikolai scoffed, knocking his shoulder into yours. you saw through his sly smirk and glowing grin, and he knew it. the fox could hide away from just about anybody but never you—not that he ever wanted to.

so, he would pretend for a minute or two, rile you up with his plethora of personalities. then, he would sober up, resounded to your ability to penetrate his defenses. your keen awareness of every notch in his armor, every foothold to climb his fortress, both aggravated and comforted him simultaneously.

“somebody has to,” he chided you, content to snake an arm around your waist and pull you flush against his side, “i don’t want to forget.”

“forget what?” you questioned, turning to face him more fully as a soft pout formed on your features.

“that i have this,” he motioned to your entwined limbs, “you,” he kissed your forehead, “to come back to. i only ever hoped my heart would find its home.”

you stilled. surely, an artist from above could have captured the moment perfectly because of it. they would have to gently shade your individual silhouettes into one, execute the softness of his gaze, and reproduce the muted lighting with watercolor.

you liked to organize your life into two categories; there was the before nikolai lantsov and the after him. before saltwater became the first thing to invade your senses in the mornings, you would have set fire to the bridge of any desperate man’s creation. after you learned to never assume anything impossible, you willingly gave up a piece of your heart to the most lovesick of them all. the one you simply could not have.

gingerly grabbing ahold of his fingers, you aimed to kiss the tip of each one. as always, he pulled away before allowing you to complete your objective. with a frown, you ran your thumb over his cheek.

“i only got to six. none of that,” you minded him with a calm look, “sobachka,” you began to warn him. 

“it’s more than five,” he commented with a reference to the day before. quickly, he kissed you to remove any possibility of a retort. you could not escape his lips even if you intended to try, which you did not.

the need for air ultimately pulled you away from nikolai. you frowned discontentedly his way, still frustrated by his actions. you understood his insecurities and accepted the validity of his feelings, but it did not ease the pain of watching him crumble before your eyes.

“my love,” you urged, “i have never understood many things and ended up running,” you held him off with a look, “but i want to stay and learn every part of you.”

bashful, he tucked his head into your neck.

“you have to spare some hope for yourself,” you said softly, leaning your head onto his.

he groaned, indicative of him sourly acknowledging your truth. you turned to kiss his temple, giving your lips the respite to linger just beneath his curls. you sucked in a breath when he responded with one of his own, planted upon the column of your throat. tender yet unexpected.

“but i want you to have it,” he responded, careful to inject the appropriate dose of his personality to make you smile without doubt of his sincerity being a means of withdrawal from the subject.

rolling your lips into your mouth, you melted under his gaze and into his arms, “okay.”

he smiled as radiantly as the sun, with a blush to match the artistry of it setting. you thought you could stay in that moment with him, that not even he could carry you to the next quite yet. you should have known better to predict his unpredictable behavior.

“so,” he drew out, “marry me, then.”

“nik-,” you breathed, fighting a losing battle with a smile of your own. his persistence did not force you to agree, rather charmed you to.

“no!” he cut off deliberately, “no,” the delivery of his words now intentionally softer.

“nikolai,” you enunciated, “if i’m a queen,” you caught the exact second light filtered back into his eyes, “i will never have you again in the same way—not how i do now, at least.”

“i don’t understand,” he frowned between his mumble of the phrase.

“we will be closer than ever before,” you voiced, “but i fear that could push us further apart than we have ever been,” you expressed with a sunken tone.

not letting you pull away either emotionally or physically, he took you into his arms. already feeling more grounded, you breathed in his scent of sea and pine. he was all around you, and it was enough.

“i could never not love you,” he countered.

“that’s not what i’m saying,” you refuted, “but what if you don’t like me anymore? after we are stressed and overwhelmed and stubbornly disagreeing?”

nikolai giggled, kissing every inch of your face, “i like every single piece of you,” his thumbs slipped down your cheeks and onto your throat, pushing your head back for further access, “i like you more than any travel i have been on, any adventure i have sought, and more than any squabble we might face.”

looking up at him under a thick set of eyelashes, you quirked a crooked smile, “really?”

“oh, yes,” he divulged, “i like you more than anyone else—even myself,” he began to taunt you, “and i happen to like myself quite a bit.”

“fine,” you relented with a light sigh, “let me show you just how much i like you and i’ll be your queen.”

a smirk stretched across his face but before he could dip his head to yours, you grabbed his hands away from your neck.

“i like you,” you began with a breath, leaning forward to kiss each of his fingertips, “one, two, three,” you continued as he watched you delicately, “eight, nine, ten.”

blinking rapidly, his gaze softened, “don’t be my queen,” nikolai mouthed, a single breath away from your lips, “continue to be my best friend, the woman i look for in every room, the reason time moves way too fast.”

“thank you for sharing your hope with me,” you spoke and drew your lips in a straight line, “thank you for letting me be in love with you.”

“i never let you do anything,” he began to sway, “could only hope you would keep coming back.”

“i’m in love with you,” you insisted, “and i happen to like that very much.”

[theteasetwrites]

The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

Chapter 12: A Little Piece of Heaven

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader ❧ Era: Season 2 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: SMUT—oral (female receiving), missionary, mild swearing ❧ Word Count: 6.7k

❧ In This Chapter: Tragedy at the farm leads to emotions running high, and Daryl desiring to isolate himself from the others. In a desperate need for closeness, you share an intimate night with Daryl.

❧ A/N: This is my first time ever writing smut, so it might not be the BEST, but this certainly won't be the last time we see smut in this series so hopefully my skills will get better with time. Also, this chapter is basically completely devoted to smut so there's not really any plot development. If you're not into reading smut, feel free to skip this one.

“Daryl, what the hell is this?” you asked, walking towards the man as he set up your shared tent on the outskirts of Hershel’s land.

You had just finished helping the others bury graves for Sophia and Hershel’s wife and stepson, and when the service was finished Daryl immediately wandered off. You stayed to help clean up the rest of the bodies and take them away to be burned. Once you were finished, you intended to come back to your tent and rest, but you were surprised to find that your tent was nowhere to be seen.

“Settin’ up camp,” Daryl said matter-of-factly, almost done assembling the last tentpole.

“You didn’t have any intention of asking me before you moved our tent almost a mile away from the others?”

Daryl looked up from his work. “Didn’t think it would matter.”

You scoffed. “Of course it matters, those are our people! Why are you doing this, isolating yourself?”

“I’m done bein’ their errand boy. Look what it got me, that girl was dead in the barn this whole damn time!” he yelled, his face only a few inches from yours.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself. “Daryl, I know this is really affecting you. You worked so hard everyday to find her, and I can’t even imagine what it feels like to see all of that crumbling in front of you, but you can’t take this out on everyone else. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just the way it happened.”

He only huffed, his face contorted in frustration. Turning away from you, he resumed setting up camp, unpacking a large duffel bag and beginning to throw yours and his things into the tent haphazardly.

“I… I think I’m going to set up my own tent, back with the others,” you said.

Daryl paused, not saying anything—just looking at the ground.

“I just don’t like being this far from the camp.” You started approaching him slowly, attempting to touch his arm, but he pulled away.

“So that’s it? It’s over then?” he asked.

You looked at him confused. “I didn’t say that. I just don’t want to be isolated.”

“Obviously you don’t want nothin’ to do with me then, so why don’t ya just get the hell outta here? Go!”

His words stung like alcohol on an open wound. You couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Daryl, please don’t be like this.”

“Like what?! You think you can just come into my life like that, then after everything just up and leave?! That ain’t fair, you can’t just do that.”

“I never said anything about leaving, Daryl, just that I don’t think you’re doing the right thing. We need to be with our people.”

Daryl scoffed. “I don’t need them, don’t need anybody. Never have, never will.”

Your eyes dropped and your mouth turned downward at his harsh words. “You don’t need me then.” Your voice was shaky and full of sadness.

He paused, disappointed in himself for not thinking through his words. “That ain't what I meant,” he came up to you, trying to look into yours eyes but they were glued to your feet. “I… need ya. Always.” His voice was softer now, much more vulnerable. “I can’t go back to camp, not yet. But… you can stay there if ya want to. I’ll understand.”

You looked back up at him, smiling at his understanding. “You know I can’t sleep without you,” you said simply.

The corner of his lip turned up, then turned into a small smile, that same one he’d always given you. It was a small smile, but it was the biggest one you’d ever seen him give anyone, so you knew it meant something. “Can’t sleep without you neither.”

You touched his hand, grazing the back of it with your thumb. He is so sweet.

“I’ll stay with you here, but you have to promise me something.”

“Anythin’.”

“Promise me this is temporary, that we’ll put our things back at camp when you figure out… whatever all this is.”

Daryl looked at you, a hint of admiration in his eyes at how much you cared about him and wanted him to be better. “I promise.”

You threw your arms around his neck and pressed your body into his, pulling away only briefly to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and held you against him, engulfing you in his warmth. He was always so warm.

You reluctantly pulled your body away from him, keeping your fingers looped together around the back of his neck and playing with the ends of his hair all the while. “It’s gonna get dark soon,” you pointed out, looking at the sun setting in the distance. “We should set up the inside of the tent.”

That’s just what the two of you did for the next hour or so, organizing everything again so it was just like how you’d first set it up. Daryl even set his half of the geode right next to yours on the table, saying he’d been carrying his around for good luck, but that it needed to be with its other half now.

Once the darkness settled in, you asked Daryl to teach you how to start a fire for you to cook over. Dinner wasn’t too special, just a can of beans you heated up and the last of the jerky you’d found on the highway what seemed like years ago.

After dinner, you perched yourself atop Daryl’s lap and the two of you sat by the fire. He let you stay there much longer than you thought he would. You assumed his legs would start falling asleep, but he never complained.

You started telling him stories from your childhood. He always seemed to like hearing them.

“There was this one time,” you said, your arms wrapped around Daryl’s neck as you sat on his lap, “my brother and I stayed up super late and did the dumbest thing. We had this idea to do prank calls, only we’d never done it before so we didn’t know you were supposed to use the Yellow Pages and dial random numbers from that. We ended up using numbers from our parents’ personal telephone book.”

“Yeah,” Daryl snorted, “that is dumb.”

You playfully smacked his chest. “Shut up! We were kids!”

Daryl scoffed. “So what happened?”

“Well, in the morning, one of the people we called actually called back, and that was how our parents found out.”

“Shit,” Daryl said, enamored with your story. He was always the most captive audience you’d ever had.

“Right? Anyway, my dad didn’t really care that much, he mostly just thought it was funny how stupid we were. But my mom, she was pissed. She made us call every single person back to apologize. If they didn’t answer, she took us to their house and made us apologize in person.”

“You weren’t kiddin’ when you said she was crazy.”

You laughed. “Yeah, she was a bit neurotic. She was worse to my brother though, always giving him a hard time. She could never accept him for who he was, she treated him terribly.”

“Sounds like your mom and my dad woulda been a match made in Hell.”

You sighed as you thought about Daryl’s dad. He never mentioned him except for when he showed you his scars, but you knew he hated him, and that he had good reason to. “Some people just should never be parents.”

“Mhm,” Daryl agreed as he traced invisible circles on your thigh.

The night went on like that for a while, the both of you exchanging stories from the old world. Daryl’s were mostly about the strange antics him and his brother used to get up to, and yours were from every time in your life. His favorites were your high school stories, they were always the most awkward and embarrassing, and he loved to tease you.

After a while, a comfortable silence settled in. You were still sat on his lap, gazing at the fire, when you felt him start to kiss your neck sweetly. Soon it turned into him sucking and licking you all over your exposed skin, leaving trails of hickeys that would certainly darken by morning.

You didn’t think he would be so passionate with you tonight, given the circumstances and everything that had happened that day at the barn. You didn’t complain, though. The two of you still hadn’t had sex yet, and it was beginning to eat you up inside. It was the only thing you found yourself thinking about when you could let your thoughts take over. Even at night when he held you, all you could think about was how you wanted to feel him inside you. Still, you didn’t want to rush him. You knew he would come to you in his own time.

What you didn’t know was that it was eating at him, too. He’d found his thoughts clouded with more and more intense images of you. It seemed to get worse everyday, his visions of you on top of him, your naked body bouncing up and down as you rode him, calling out his name in rapture.

Sometimes he couldn’t hold it and had to go into the woods and take care of himself. It was a strange feeling for him, this lust. He’d never been so aroused that he had to masturbate, it was usually something he did very rarely when he physically needed to. Even then, it wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed. But when he thought of you as he did it, the feeling of being inside you, your tight walls clenching around him as you rode him out to find your pleasure, he felt pure bliss unlike anything he’d ever experienced.

As he kissed your neck, he brought his free hand down to caress your breast, then slid it further down your torso and finally to your clothed crotch. He cupped you there lightly, feeling the heat emanating from your arousal.

You could barely take him touching you there, you were so sensitive from years of not being touched. You let out a tortured moan as a way of begging him to put more pressure where you most needed it.

He tore his mouth from your neck and pressed his lips to yours, raw and red with passion. You parted your lips to let him slip his tongue in and rapidly swirl around yours, going faster as he put more pressure on your mound and became more aroused just from the feeling of you.

“Daryl,” you panted in between his kisses, “please.”

He started leaving small, warm kisses on your cheek as his inched his way to the sensitive spot beneath your ear. He tongued at it gently, his hot breath radiating off your skin and making you even more sensitive to his touch.

“Please what?” he asked, the vibrations of his gravelly voice on your skin causing you to let out a soft groan.

He very well knew what he was doing to you, but he wanted you to tell him exactly what you wanted from him.

“Please…” you trailed off, feeling him lick down the helix of your ear, then back down to your neck, finally fixating on your collarbone where he began nibbling at it lightly. You closed your eyes and brought your hand up to his hair, beginning to comb through it with your fingers in appreciation as you whimpered at his love bites.

“Use your words,” he said, confidence flooding through him as he continued to leave delicate bites on your sensitive skin.

“I want you to… I need you to—ah!”

He caught you off guard when he began fondling your breast underneath your shirt, pinching your aroused nipple all the while.

He brought his mouth back up to yours and you kissed him in appreciation. Pulling away a little, he spoke into lips. “What do you want me to do to ya, girl? I’ll do anything you want. Just gotta tell me.”

“Want you inside me, please, Daryl.”

Daryl smirked as he kissed you harshly, biting your lower lip a little, then filling you again with his sweet tongue.

When he pulled away, you whimpered a little at the loss of his tongue and lips. Neither of you had even gotten your clothes off yet but you were already falling apart for him.

“Go get that pretty dress on for me,” Daryl instructed, looking at you with darkened eyes. “I’m gonna put out the fire.” He nuzzled his nose against yours before you reluctantly lifted yourself off his lap. You looked down at him, but your eyes immediately traveled down to the very obvious tent in his pants.

You leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Don’t be too long, cutie pie” you said, trying to sound as sexy as possible for someone who hadn’t had sex for a solid three years.

You could’ve sworn you heard him growl as he watched you make your way into the tent, seductively swaying your hips as you did so. You loved this animalistic side to him. He didn’t show it very often, only when he was horny, angry, or hungry. In all cases, he was insatiable.

You fumbled around for a few minutes in the dimly lit tent trying to find your slip. Somehow it had gotten mixed in with Daryl’s underwear, which you found to be slightly amusing.

Once you had the thing on, you’d remembered the condoms Glenn had loaned you. Well, loaned as in you were going to have to find some more to make up for the ones you took.

You searched through your memories of the last three days to remind yourself where you put them. When you realized you had tucked them in one of your piles of clothes, you started panicking. They could be anywhere since Daryl picked up your things and carelessly threw them into the tent.

“Shit, shit, shit!” you whispered to yourself as you knelt down and began frantically looking for the two little pink squares you thought you’d been so clever in hiding. In hindsight, you should’ve just put them on your nightstand, but your appreciation for the element of surprise was clouding your judgment at the time.

“Lookin’ for something?” you heard Daryl’s husky voice from behind you.

Turning around, you saw Daryl holding the very condoms you were looking for. Your eyes widened in shock, though you should’ve known he’d find them—he was too crafty for his own good sometimes.

You beamed up at him, your wild eyes sparkling as you looked at the man you loved so much. “You found them!” you laughed.

You practically launched yourself up from the ground and ran across the tent to hug him.

“Where’d you get these anyway, girl?” he asked, his arms wrapping around you, holding you close to him like he always did.

You pulled away to look him in his beautiful blue eyes, your hands resting on his clothed chest. “Glenn.”

He looked at you bewildered. “Oh, he’s got this… thing going on with Maggie. She told me he had extras, so I asked him to lend me some.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Lend?”

You rolled your eyes. “You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, I know what ya mean,” he smiled at you and lowered his hands down to your hips. “Guess I gotta thank Glenn tomorrow.”

You giggled. “I guess I do, too.”

Daryl slipped the condoms into his shirt pocket as he smiled at you. She’s so damn cute.

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, then leaned in to kiss you passionately, his lips soaking in every morsel of your lust for him.

Moving his hands inwards and grabbing onto your ass, the two of stumbled backwards a bit before landing less than graciously on your makeshift cot with him on top of you. You giggled as he started leaving hot kisses down your chest, stopping where the fabric of your slip started.

He started playing with the silky fabric, sliding his hand downwards in between the slopes of your breasts, over the soft plain of your belly, and finally onto your sensitive mound. He lifted himself slightly off of you to scoot himself down and spread his knees so they knelt by the insides of your calves.

Breaching the hem of your slip, he delicately pulled the fabric up to reveal that you weren’t wearing any panties. He licked his lips, so hungry for you. You sighed a little as you felt a cool breeze rush in through your tent and over your exposed core. You looked down at Daryl and began slowly spreading your legs for him, as if by instinct. You took his hand in yours when you noticed he seemed nervous, and then you got self-conscious.

“What’s wrong?” you asked softly, closing your legs a little.

“Nothin’,” he blurted out. “It’s just, ain’t uh, done this in a long time.”

You sat up to look him in the eyes, your hand caressing his cheek. “Same here.” You gave him a sweet reassuring smile. “We can go slow at first,” you suggested.

Daryl nodded nervously. “Yeah, that sounds good,” he said, chewing the inside of his lip. “I uh… wanna give somethin’ to ya.”

You looked at him confused, but happy to oblige whatever he wanted. “You can give anything to me, Daryl. I’ll love it if it comes from you.”

He smiled at you, pealing your hand from his cheek and leaving several small kisses on your palm before he gently dropped it back down to your side. “Lay down, pretty girl.”

You did as he said, returning your head to your soft pillow. He took your thighs in both of his big hands and spread them out even further than you had opened them for him initially. He leaned down to marvel at the beauty of your soaking wet slit, spread open for him so deliciously.

Unable to contain himself any longer, he swiftly sunk his lips onto your crease, allowing his tongue to lick upwards and collect the dewy glow of your arousal. As he met your clit, you let out a high-pitched groan of pleasure, loving the feeling of his tongue on your most sensitive spot.

Acknowledging your appreciation, he suctioned onto that spot, his tongue lapping at it all the while. At first you bucked your hips up into his mouth seemingly uncontrollably, but after the first few licks you were able to control yourself a bit more.

Still, no one had made you feel this good in so long, possibly ever. As he kept sucking and lapping on your now throbbing clit, he tentatively brought his index finger up to your entrance. He delicately rubbed your inner lips up and down before slowly dipping the finger into the shallow end of your pussy.

Even with just one finger in, you were so tightly wound around it that he wasn’t sure he could fit another one in. But as he continued to hungrily pluck and lap at your button, your canal began to stretch for him. He inserted another finger, this time earning a cry of pleasure from you.

You slid your hands down your breasts and your stomach to finally settle in Daryl’s short, ashy brown tresses. Your hands kneaded at his hair, pulling him further down onto your sweet spot.

Suddenly, he determined he could try putting a third finger in you, and with that you unintentionally pulled his hair, crying out his name as your body adjusted to the feeling. He grunted at the feeling of you pulling him, sending an intense vibration into you.

He began pumping his thick, calloused fingers in and out of you slowly, trying to stretch you more and more to prepare for his increasingly hardening cock. Your soft moans and whimpers punctuated by the passionate cries of his name were enough to drive him over the edge, but he was trying his hardest not to let himself go just yet. He needed to get you there first.

Keeping his mouth locked onto your engorged clit, he started pulling his fingers out slowly, making sure to gather enough of your wetness to coat his fingers.

Much to your dissatisfaction, as evidenced in your needy groan, he pulled his mouth off of you to catch his breath. Once his fingers were completely out, he looked up at your beautiful face. You felt his eyes on you, and you looked down at him as he licked his fingers clean, one by one, groaning to himself.

“Oh, Daryl,” you moaned.

You massaged his hair as he came back down to begin licking at your soaked entrance, his thumb continuing to draw small circles around your clit. As his tongue slid further and further into you, you became a whimpering mess. Your thrusts became uncontrollable again as he applied even more pressure to your clit, and soon you started to feel the first shocks of your impending orgasm vibrating through each thrust.

Daryl could tell you were close as he felt the increased clenching of your vagina around his wet tongue. He wanted to feel you come around his fingers, so he rapidly removed his tongue and kissed your wet entrance before plunging two fingers deep inside of you. You let out a guttural whimper as he did so.

“Oh, god! Daryl!” you cried, your eyes closed tightly and your teeth gritted as he returned his mouth to your clit to suck and lick at it some more until it was ready to burst.

Daryl used his other hand to hold you down while he pleasured you, wanting to prolong these first shocks as long as possible. As he continued to stimulate you, you were a whimpering mess, your hands now holding onto his broad shoulders for dear life, clawing at the fabric of his blue sleeveless shirt.

“Daryl, I’m going to—going to come,” you moaned desperately, his tongue never ceasing to rapidly lap at your clit and his fingers still thrusting deep inside of you, the warmth engulfing them so beautifully.

He removed the hand he was using to keep you steady and stretched it up to caress your clothed breast, your hand meeting his and holding it there as he massaged the soft tissue.

Your moans started getting louder and louder, and your thrusts were faster and more intense as your body ached to find the release it needed. Your clit was still in Daryl’s mouth, but it was throbbing so much it felt like it was going to explode.

After another round of thrusting, you felt a surge of bliss spread through your body from your core. Your legs were practically shaking as the tightness within you unwound itself and let loose a cascade of vibrations through you with every uncontrollable thrust into Daryl’s mouth.

He continued to lick you, now licking at your entrance where his fingers were still pumping back and forth inside you. He felt your tight pussy clenching his fingers repeatedly, getting him excited for when it would do so around his cock. He let out a guttural groan as you kept coming for him for what seemed like minutes. He brought his tongue back up to your clit to stimulate you some more, trying to drag out every moment of your pleasure.

As he did, you let out more loud whimpers, absolutely amazed by all the attention he was giving you. When you finally came back down from your high, Daryl slowly pulled his fingers out of you, kissing back up your still clothed body to your mouth where he plunged his tongue in for another passionate kiss.

You could taste yourself on his tongue, and now you could feel his incredibly erect cock rubbing against your thigh, his jeans scratching your skin in the most perfect way.

Wrapping your arms around him and running your hands up and down his broad back, you pulled him in further to allow his tongue more access to your mouth. You wanted to feel him as deep as possible. When he pulled away, leaving small kisses around your mouth as a parting gift, you were still panting from your orgasm. Your eyes fluttered closed as you reveled in this moment.

“Was that good?” he asked shyly, leaving more little kisses all over your jaw and neck at the same time.

You opened your eyes and looked at him with the sweetest smile on your face. “Daryl, that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

You wished you could’ve said something more romantic, but all you could tell him was exactly what you were thinking.

He looked at you and smiled, caressing your face gently all the while.

You leaned up and continued to kiss him, letting your tongue take his into your mouth and dance wildly with it. You took one of the hands you had on his back and brought it forward to caress his chest. Slowly, you trailed downwards like he’d done with you, finally landing on his clothed cock, which was so hard for you.

He groaned as you began palming him up and down, wanting to feel his warmth inside you.

“I want this,” you whispered, applying more sweet pressure to his groin. “Give me this, please.”

He looked at you with hardened eyes. “You want my cock in you?” he asked, a surge of boldness taking him over.

He grabbed your hand and rubbed it harder into his jeans, making his throbbing cock feel like it could burst right there. You gasped at how good he felt just under your hand, not even naked.

“Yes, Daryl,” you cooed. “I want your cock inside me.”

He smiled and gave you another sweet kiss. “What my crazy woman wants my crazy woman gets.”

You laughed, playfully smacking his chest before he began to lift himself up and off of you. You sat up a bit to watch as he began unbuttoning his shirt, tossing it at your face once he was done.

“Daryl!” you cried, snorting at how much he was teasing you.

He was already starting to undo his jeans when you discarded the shirt. You leaned forward with bated breath, your gaze glued to his as he watched your every move with hungry eyes.

He began pulling his jeans down with one hand, and taking his aching cock out with the other. You absentmindedly bit your lip as you watched him stroke himself a few times before completely stepping out of his jeans and underwear.

You simply couldn’t believe he was completely naked, mostly because of how he’d never been naked in front of you, only in your imagination as you drifted off to sleep. You’d almost forgotten that he was real, that there was a man underneath all those baggy clothes.

Coming back to Earth, you began peeling off your own slip as he began strutting towards you slowly.

As you started pulling the silky fabric over your head, you felt him pull the rest of it up for you, simply not being able to wait. You looked up at him and smiled once he’d removed it, rustling your hair in the process. Now you really looked like a crazy woman, and he loved it.

Standing in front of you, he pulled you up to his level by your arms so that you were kneeling both of your knees on the bed. Then he tucked one arm under your knees and picked you up bridal style, causing you to squeal in surprise. He set you back down quickly, making sure you were completely laying down for him.

Climbing over you, he began spreading your legs as much as he could, then he settled into your core and laid his full body weight on top of you. You wrapped your legs around his lower torso, making sure he was nice and snug against you. Plunging his tongue into your mouth, he began gently rubbing himself against your core. You felt his upright cock sliding up and down against your mound, the feeling of it teasing you relentlessly as you just wanted him to enter you.

He started devouring your neck, leaving more marks that would surely be visible the next day. As he kept rutting his body against yours, you reached your hand down to his taut ass in an attempt to put more pressure on your core.

He grunted at your touch, pulling his lips off you and smirking. “You’re a needy girl, aren’t ya?” He kissed your hairline gently, his hands combing through your hair on either side of your face. You whimpered as you looked at him seriously, no longer wanting his teasing.

“Please, Daryl. I need you.”

You began thrusting yourself up towards him, demanding him to take control of you. You gripped his ass harder with both of your hands, causing his cock to rub more forcefully against your sensitive skin.

“Shit, woman—if I knew you were this horny I’d have done somethin’ earlier.”

Daryl propped himself up with one arm and reached down to grab his shirt he’d discarded. He reached into the shirt pocket and pulled out one of the condoms, your hands rubbing his back absentmindedly all the while.

You loosened your legs and allowed him to sit up to adjust himself. He ripped the wrapper open, tossing it somewhere in the tent and proceeding to roll it onto his throbbing cock.

It was so much nicer than that guy’s dick you saw in the library.

Hell, it was nicer than anyone’s you’d seen. Maybe it was just because it was his, but you were pretty sure it was objectively the best you’d seen.

You could already tell it would be a perfect match to your tight, wet pussy.

“Oh, Daryl,” you whimpered, completely infatuated by his generous appendage.

He smirked at you. “You ready for me, (Y/N)?”

You nodded enthusiastically, not wanting anything else in this whole world at that moment. “I’ve been ready for you for a long time.”

With that, he grabbed you by the calves and tossed your legs around his waist. He leaned forward so he was eye-to-eye with you, then he propped himself up on his arms. Reaching one arm down, he grabbed ahold of his cock and gently dragged the tip up and down your soaking wet slit in order to coat it in as much of your sweet nectar as possible.

Your walls began clenching at nothing, anticipating the feeling of being filled by him. As he inched closer to your opening, you gripped his broad shoulders and closed your eyes tightly, preparing for him to stretch you out.

“I’ll go real slow,” Daryl assured you, removing his hand from his cock and bringing it up to caress your concentrated face. “Tell me if it hurts.”

He knew you hadn’t done this in a long time. He remembered every little thing you’d told him, so of course he wouldn’t forget that. He knew your body might not be as used to it as it once was.

“Okay,” you sighed. “Please, I want you in me.”

Daryl gave you one more long, sweet kiss before he began inching his tip further into your pussy, already stretching it out so much.

You hissed and gritted your teeth as he got deeper. He groaned when he felt the soft warm tissue of your tight pussy trying to accommodate him. He inched as slowly as he possibly could given how aroused he was. Once he had filled you to your hilt, he began slowly pumping up and down inside of you, his hips thrusting into yours.

“Ah!” you cried, still trying to get used to the stinging of your body adjusting to him.

He used all of his willpower to stop himself from ramming into you. “You okay? Did I hurt ya?” he panted.

“I’m fine,” you said, opening your eyes to look at him. You moved your hands down from his shoulders to his ass, applying pressure to encourage him to keep moving. “Keep going, I want you to make me scream, Daryl.”

He smirked, then leaned down to kiss you deeply, his tongue swirling yours as he began thrusting into you faster now. You panted and moaned into his sloppy kiss, loving the feeling of his cock.

Removing his lips from yours, he lifted his head up to watch your face as he pounded into you, getting deeper and deeper with each thrust.

Getting a hang of his rhythm, you bucked your hips up gently to match his, stimulating your clit each time.

Daryl loved how much you wanted him, how much you purposefully clenched your walls to draw him closer to where he wanted to be.

“Damn, you’re perfect,” he sighed, watching your breasts bounce up and down with each powerful thrust. “You gonna make me come so hard, baby.”

Baby? He’d never called you anything but “crazy woman”—he must’ve been delirious.

“Oh, oh,” you whimpered, beginning to feel your own high rising up in your core again. You moved your hands up from his ass to his hair where you lightly pulled at it, begging him to go even harder as he penetrated a sensitive spot inside you. “Harder! More! I’m close!”

You couldn’t help but thrust up into him wildly, almost causing him to lose his balance.

“Hang on, woman!” he laughed, amused by your excitement. “I’ll make ya come real good, sweet thing.”

Sweet thing… if you weren’t turned on before, you definitely were now. His gruff southern accent always tore you to pieces.

“Yes, Daryl! Right there, honey.”

“Yeah, ya like that, girl?”

“Yes!”

He kept thrusting as hard as he could, wanting you to reach your high before he did. Leaning down again, he brought his mouth to your breast and began licking your hardened nipple, swirling it around his tongue wildly.

“Oh—oh Daryl!” you cried, loving the feeling of his mouth making love to your engorged breast. When he was satisfied, he kissed his way over to your other nipple, all the while continuing to thrust into you as far and as hard as he could, but still slow enough to steadily draw out your impending orgasm.

You felt the first vibrations coursing through you, and before he knew it you were coming all around him. You panted and groaned as he started slowing down even more so he could reach his hand down and circle your sensitive clit with his thumb to make your orgasm last as long as it could.

“Oh God, baby… you make me feel so good,” you cooed, still uncontrollably slamming your hips up into his as each surge of pleasure swept through you like a tidal wive.

He started pulling out of you halfway so he could see how much your slick coated his shaft. He smiled as he watched it glisten in the dim lighting of the lantern. Some of your other juices seeped out and he couldn’t control himself anymore. He needed to find his own release, and he was already so close.

Once you stopped moaning and writhing in your post-orgasmic state, he pushed himself back into you until he reached your hilt. You let out a loud groan, loving the feeling of him filling you up completely again.

He readjusted a bit and returned his hands to either side of your head to prop himself up as he hammered into you as fast as he could. You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist, interlocking your ankles and digging your heels into his ass.

“Oh, (Y/N),” he groaned.

He felt the first waves of his orgasm flooding over him as he continued thrusting harder, over and over and over again.

Your tight walls clenched even tighter around him, and at this point he had lowered himself down to nuzzle his head into the crook of your shoulder.

“Ah! Goddamn,” he cried.

You rubbed his back up and down slowly with one hand, the other in his hair combing through it lovingly.

“Come on, baby,” you whispered sweetly. “Come in me.”

You felt his cock start to twitch under the pressure of your tightening walls. You knew he was so close to finishing, but he was trying to prolong the pre-shocks of his orgasm as long as he could.

He couldn’t take the friction anymore, and his cock started twitching rapidly inside of you.

“Ah! (Y/N)!” he cried into your shoulder, biting the skin just a little. “Oh, shit.”

He kept bucking his hips into you as your tight, slick walls milked every ounce of him into the reservoir of the condom. You moved your hands down to his ass you loved so much and held him into you as the last of his white hot seed expelled from his body.

He groaned your name roughly into your ear, and you moaned in response to how much he was unloading. It almost seemed like he’d never stop.

You smiled at how much he was enjoying himself until he finally seemed to climb down from his amazing high. He hadn’t felt like that in his whole life. It was hands down the best sex he’d ever had, not only because he had shared it with someone he really cared about, but because you just felt so good. It was like your bodies were made for each other.

He panted in your ear, still catching his breath from all that thrusting. You unwrapped your legs from his waist and let them fall limp onto the bed. He lifted his head from your shoulder and adjusted himself so that was laying on top of you, all the while still buried deep inside you.

“Wow,” you giggled, your hands coming to his cheeks and bringing his face down to yours so you could kiss him sweetly in appreciation. “I think I died and went to Heaven.”

He smiled at you sweetly. “Me too, an’ brought me back a little piece.” He took one of your hands and left sweet soft kisses on your palm before slowly pulling out of you. If it were up to him he’d stay in you all night, but that condom was getting uncomfortable.

You beamed at him. “You’re just a big softie, aren’t you?”

He scoffed. “Ain’t soft, baby girl.” He pivoted his body so he was laying on his side next to you, then reached down to peel off the condom. He tied the open end in a knot and tossed it somewhere in the middle of the tent.

“You better pick that up later,” you teased.

He closed his eyes and shook his head to himself as he wrapped his arm around you, opening his sleepy eyes again to look at your beautiful face. “Yes, ma’am.”

You smiled, then looked at each other in silence for a while before Daryl cleared his throat and began to speak.

“I gotta tell ya somethin’, (Y/N).”

You looked a little concerned as his face turned serious. “What is it, honey?” You brought your hand up to his cheek and held his face in your soft palm.

“I—I love you.”

You were silent for a moment, then you closed your eyes and sighed in relief. “I love you, too, Daryl. I have for a while now.”

Daryl’s serious face faded and he was all smiles. “How’d I get so lucky?”

You giggled. “Well, you happened to stumble upon a dumb girl getting attacked by a walker in the woods one day. I guess it kind of just worked itself out from there.”

Daryl smiled while he looked down briefly to pull the covers over the both of you. “She ain’t dumb,” he said. “She’s perfect, an’ I’m gonna spend whatever time I’ve got left on this rock makin’ sure she knows that.” He nodded his head a little in confirmation of his promise.

You hummed in response as your eyelids got heavier with each blink. Soon you drifted off to sleep, snuggled into Daryl’s chest as was becoming habit.

Daryl looked at your peaceful face as long as he could until he couldn’t keep himself awake any longer, either. He managed to put out the lantern before wrapping his arms tightly around you and falling asleep to dream sweet dreams of you and your future together.

~

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